me

2006-10-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES, DOREEN SHIFTED HER BLOG TO
www.thehidden-me.blogspot.com
pls go to click the above link to her new blog.. thanks
blogskins here are officical screwing up by itself..

TVXQ: zhen fan he

2006-10-04T01:23:00.000-07:00

TVXQ!!
doreen's way to destress in this time of exams.
watch when you really need to destress or you have the time..
ITS GOOD!
though you may not like their looks, I SEE POTENTIAL!
this song is mainly about what is going on in the world now..
yeah, pretty meaningful.. but its in korean..
so ENJOY:)
click the 1st butterfly above to see the video.
yeah. if not clear enough due to the blocking of my posts.. here's the url.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZysMTOSV7Q

2006-10-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

OMG!!
Tong Vfang Xien Qi(TVXQ)!!
korean boyband!!
are they humans??
they are like ...
have the looks, can dance,sing,act ...ARGH!!!
they are so perfect that i was like asking myself if they are humans??
which human can dance and sing so well??
argh, they are making me feel jealous.
its like BoA...
okay, they are juniors of BoA...fine.
ARGH!
they make me go crazy.
check if out for yourself man at youtube..

2006-09-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWOK,j3
ha. yeah.
gave her a tweety card, snow angel's stuff and energy's final fantasy poster...
LOVE YA LOTS:)
everyone seem to be not online and dont blog jump as much now.
cos my blog seem to be so dead here while i still update almost like normal days.
as in, not the exam period.
but i havent went online yet, as in msn.
i dont wanna get disturbed when i study.
i dont know how on earth i am going to pull thru this time of terrible stress.
God will have his way, he will.

my back is dying on me.
out of all the days in the year, it gotta be during the exam period.
sighx, everything started on wednesday.
i was just walking up the hill to school when i felt a sharp pain from my back all the way to my tail bone.
i thought it was just my stress pain, yeah. my stress pain is stomach ache.
so i though that it.
but after that, it was so pain when we are about to go for pe, i sat down and couldnt get up.
yeah, later on during pe, i realised it was my back.
the pain was in my tail bone.
i thot it would fade off after a few hours.
it was there all the way until this hour.

on wednesday, i went to the chinese doctor and had accuputure(dont know how to spell)
it didnt have much help and the pain was still there.
the doctor said that my back's condition is pretty bad and most probably will need to get a pmc to not do pe.
i cannot do anything other than jogging and swimming.
but the thing is, i cant swim for nuts.
on thursday, i went to the clinic and see the doctor plus did a x ray.
i swear i would never wanna go for an x ray anymore in my life.
but for my back, i am quite sure i will need to head back there soon.

report out in 2 weeks.
i really cant imagine myself as a pmc dude.
as in, even though i was quite eager and WANT to get a pmc in the past, thinking about it now, i dont wanna anymore.
yeah.
i want to be a normal person running around the tracks with my friends..sighx.

eoys in 3 days
all the best to everyone out there.
and to me.

2006-09-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOSH!!
I SO HATE AMATHS
pls, my gosh.
every part of my body hates it.
I DRAT AMATHS LESSONS!
maybe its just the teacher.
i think he so gave up on me lar.
its not my fault that i dont get what the FFFF he is teaching in class right.
shyte.
i really do hate Amaths.
now, i have more confident in doing better in SS/history than amaths.
i dont even FEEL LIKE WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME PRACTICING FOR A SUBJECT THAT I WILL KNOW I WILL FAIL FOR MY EOYS.
its maths, it will be such a waste of time.
BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST STILL.
and successfully think of a way to either drop this ANNOYING subject next year or flunk it again in my o's.
HELLO!!!
have you ever done a past year paper when you cant answer any??
I DID!! i couldnt even answer a BLOOD CRAP maths question on last year's paper lar.
i can so picture myself getting my amaths paper during the eoys and just flipping thru it, looking for all the sets questions(cos that is the only thing i know in amaths) and do them, then slowly slack thru the paper and count how many questions i acutally do know how to do cos counting those will be much lesser than counting those i dont know.
ARGH!! i NEED AMATHS DESPERATELY.
but then again, i wouldnt exactly bother about THIS DAMN SPASTIC SUBJECT NOW!!

never ever become a chemistry, emaths, SS/history, amaths TEACHER in my whole life is my moto.
okay, just dont ever teach secondary kids.
they will HATE YOU ALL THEIR LIFE cos they hate the subject.

ARGH!!! i HATE LOOKING AT H__!!
i just hate the amaths book.
damn it.
no matter how hard i try now, i will just fail my amaths with straight F9s for my eoys.
i am SO CONFIDENT FOR THAT!
if i would to get like an E8 or D7 for my eoys, i will just laugh at myself and make sure the teacher remarks my paper or find questions that they can deduce my marks from.

I HATE AMATHS!!

BEWARE: EMO POST.

2006-09-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

yes. beware of the returns of doreen's emo postings.
fairy tales.. why do they exist?
to mislead small little childrens that life is as wonderful and great in those stories.
everything has a good ending no matter how hard you are trying to pull through difficult times in life.
to let little children treat it as a bedtime story and fall asleep havving sweet dreams.
fairy tales are stories that acutally have a bad/sad ending stories which is turned by another writer who wants a good ending.
yeah, so FAIRY TALES ARE BAD.
not exactly acutally.
at least they bring in some hope to happy ending in this life and allow this world to have a better positive outlook in life.
i dont mean that all stories and everything that happen in life will definately end with a depressing state.
not as bad as everyone thinks of korean drama.
yeah, korean dramas are nice.
but i do admit that some of them are really draggy and they have too many sad ending shows.
KIMSAMSOON IS DIFFERENT!
okay, i shall stop my promoting of kss cos i caused a great deal of people to become addicts of it at the wrong time of there lifes, the exams time. SO SORRY!

i realised that i am getting very irritating over trends now.
i just hate doing something that everyone does.
i just hate dressing like what everyone does.
sometimes its not that i dress like everyone else.
its just that i predict the future dressing earlier than them and then, it seems as if i am following the trend.
shyte lar.

i have so many subs to cover before my DOOM is here.
i so wanna get over everything in just a flash.
i cant wait to get the fact that one more year to graduation in my head.
i wanna get into ngee ann and keep on growing and work for my own pocket money.
i dont like to keep on taking money from my parents.
thats so mean.
but friends will definately be something i will miss when i graduate.
sighx.

DOREEN IS OFFICALLY CRAZY OVER BEING KOREAN.
wait, i was already like a year ago.
fine.
DOREEN IS OFFICALLY CRAZY OVER BEING KOREAN FOR 1.5 YRs

i am starved.
i WANT MUMMY HOME NOW!!

2006-09-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	73
Extraversion	63
Openness To Experience	52
Agreeableness	52
Conscientiousness	32

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
Find your soulmate / pysch twin

Piczo, Survey Software

2006-09-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

shyte, before i realise it.
i have slacked one day and i am on the computer now.
this is really bad.
thats why i was punishing myself to read 5 ss essays before i went to sleep last night.
yes, SS is my bedtime story.
ha.
i am going to cell later and leaving a little early.
yeah.
cos i wanna sleep at 11 and wake up at 830 and study at 9.
ha. yeah.
yes trina is so right, doreen is freaking out like crap.
i will go crazy like that.
opps.
my mum say that i should stop saying that i am crazy cos what if i really turn mad studying and giving myself too much stress.
i guess i get stress over things super easily and freak out over 10 days to exams till i cry.
thats why my mum ask me to go JC.
yeah, guess thats a wise and smart choice my mum made for me.
she knows that i will really go mad oneday if i were to take As.
HA!
then, i would probably be the GEEK in ngee ann..HA!

today chem lesson was so UNPRODUCTIVE!
i am not exactly dissapointed that i went.
i enjoyed myself with emma's and cassie's company:)
THANKS DEARs:)
emma was like drawing my hand and face with highlighted and pen.
yeah.
she used like pink, blue, orange and i think purple and black pen.
yeah.
i SERIOUSLY think i will have an breakout of pimples on my left cheek.
emma, WATCH OUT!!
HA!
she went high on icecream we had for lunch.
how come she always go so high when im around?
maybe she justs goes high with my company.
oh, thats bad.
i can image the both of us in one IMH ward drawing each other..HA!
i must have gone mad allowing her to doddle on me...poor skin.

havent found macbeth yet.
i guess it would be gone for good:'(
some THANK YOU shouts:
LYDIA! - for letting me hug you when i cried and wet your uniform. LOVES:)
SQUEAK! - for going class to class to find my book.
VERA! - for asking pple in 3M for my book.
RAINA! - for checking your 3S lit pple for my book.
KAITING! - who is about to lend me photocopy your macbeth.
CASSIE! - for offering your book to me:)
EUGENIA! - for being so concern about this matter.

even though the book is not found, i still thank you guys.
hope to see it soon though, which i think is impossible.
LOVE YOU ALL:)
thanks for letting me realised that you guys love me so much:) THANKS

now i will just photocopy kaiting's book from act 1 to 3 and take notes from lydia..
and slowly copy all the notes into my FUTURE book after the exams.

i dont wanna be a S_____R anymore.
not literally be one.
like fly to taiwan to train on my vocals and cut an album.
i may just join like a competition and yeah, EXPERIENCE of a S_____R is all i want:)
cos i wanna do a little of all my ambition.
its really embarrassing to type all here.
i wanna be a LAWYER(impossible by now),ACTRESS,DJ,SINGER,DESIGNER,CREATIVE DIRETOR of a company, PSYCHATRIST(i dont know how to spell it eh), ...
should be thats all..HA!
i wanna try a little of everything.
so i guess if i be an actress, i can try out all ambition.. like impossible ones like lawyer.
HA!
yeah, thats why i want to be an actress.
HA! so ridiculous.
enough of CRAP.

SOONFOOL bouncing ooffffffff.

CELL123
I LOVE SOUL!

2006-09-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

exams came at the wrong time..
or should i say
ENERGY's ALBUM AND AUTOGRAPH SESSION CAME AT THE WRONG TIME!!
SUPERSTAR ALBUM AND AUTOGRAPH SESSION CAME AT THE WRONG TIME!!
argh.
HA!
i really wanna see energy, soul and MLB...HA!
oh ya.
my new superband clique.
juu - lucify
cassie - MLB(milubing)
elieen - j3
doreen(me) - soul!!
yeah. we call each other by the bands we support...so fun.
and all of us are not going to the auto session for those 4 bands.
me and j3 really want to thou... exams are so in the way.

MGROCS!! woah!
after hearing whatever laoshi said today about her performance, i really wanna go.
cant wait for 20 oct to come:)
that marks the end of exams and a step closer to penang with faith and rachel:)

$118 to zen V.
i thought i was and will be the only one who posses that mp3.
the fact that i really wanted it was because no one has it and its so small and cute.
who can think that lydia has it ages before i start saving for it.
shyte.
second thought of saving it.
BUT I AM GETTING THE BLACK ORANGE VERSION:)
sorry, i just hate the fact of being common.
a girl that dont like to follow the trend.HA!
not exactly trend but i hate to own things that everyone has.
especially the half jacket incident.. its so pissing.
i was like practically the only idoit who wore it during chinese year this year and everyone called me ah lian.
now look who is wearing it.
everyone.
i hate this kind of feeling.
so i better get a brand of my own..HA!

i lost my MACBETH lit BOOK and the exams are a little more than a week away.
i cried, duh.
wo bu gan xin.
i dont wanna copy notes from act 1 to 3.
i wanna face the fact that i have the same amount of time to revise like anyone else but i have to copy notes that everyone did ages ago.
hell.
i really hope it appears on my table tmr or i find it somehow.
really, i prayed hard.
God pls answer my prayer.. i am desperate.
i dont know how i am suppose to survive for o's next year.
there was this morning when i woke up, i started to count how many days left to eoys.
10, and i freaked out that i went to my mum's room and cry.
yeah, i guess i am giving myself a lot of pressure and all.
i am really afraid of not doing well.
thats why i am here giving myself a 1/2 hr break.
gave myself a 1hr treat of reading mag.
i wouldnt have anymore breaks today until 1030.
sighx, its not nerd. its insecure for the future.
i can just imagine myself crying after finishing every single test paper cos i didnt have a clue what to answer.
i am so afraid that i study so hard that when i step into the exam hall, everything is in the air i breathe out and i am left with nothing in my head.
i always experience that for history exams though...so that DO happen to me.

i will look forward for after the exams.
going K BOX!!
yeah, at last i am going there.
but have to take those $$ out from my zen V saving plan...sighx.

my own guitar practices are on their way.
yeah, I WANNA HAVE OR BE IN A GIRL ROCK BAND!!
just like cherry bloom(ying tao bang)
its damn cool ok..
i dont mind drumming or lead sing..SO COOL!

for a split second, i just realised that i have ALOT of cliques.
i can start naming it out like now.
1. US (genia,rach,faith,trina,vera,raina)
2. lefties (mil,kaiting,cass)
3. KBOX gang (jo,angie,kwok,lydia,cass,davina)
4. superband dudes (kwok,cass,juu)
5. band (em,juu,kwok,mil)
6. lesbian 123 (mil,squeak)

LOVE YOU ALL DUDE:)

2006-09-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

MY COMPUTER IS BACK!! YEAH!
but the whole computer is re-formatted.
and its darn slow lar.
all my songs are like gone and my msn is like a picture of a dog.
argh.
cant stand this...sighx.
i gotta take pics out of my photobucket soon.
lucky i got a radioblogclub account.
so i still have music to listen to.
AND THERE IS YOU TUBE.
save me.

exams are scary.
it is like 15 more days to DOOMS DAY
yeah, now i feel so un-prepared, scared and nervous.
argh.
i need to finish my emaths this week and start on amaths and chem next week.
i alr studyed 1/2 of physics.
and i am so going to fail ss/history like always.

I AM OFF MY DIET and i found myself indulging in food like crazy
i think its just stress and the fact that i am growing.
hopefully tall.
i am so likely gaining weigh in this stress exam period.
save me, i need to the hit the gym desperately.
i am so addicted to milky bar, honey comb chocolate and cab boost these days.
yeah, i still hate chocolate.
but these are the ones i like only.

i seriously think that i am going mad.
STUDY!!
argh, exams will be over soon but...ARGH~!

2006-09-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

MLB ROCKS!
SOUL ROCKS EVEN MORE!!!
HAHA!
computer still down.

PLS BUY SUPERBAND ALBUM!!

ARGH

2006-09-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOSH!!
i havent touch the computer or came online for 6 DAYS!!
argh.
this is such a killer.
yeah.
sorry for my so dead blog.
my computer is down and its have been sent for repair.
yeah.
so just this short thing now.
will post... soon hopefully.
yeah..sighx.

i am rushing with time.
chem remedial next.
shyte.
i hate AMATHS AND CHEM.
crap.
and i have been stressing myself up due to my slack-ness during the september hols.
to me, i didnt study and do enough work.
to you guys, perhaps it was alright.
i really hate myself for wasting a week like that.
18 more days to DOOMS DAY.
sighx.

oh ya. did i mentioned that..
I SAW SOUL!!
woah.
remember how i didnt saws them the other time.
yeah.
it wasnt intention to see them at the superstar auditions the other day.
it was last sat 090906.
i was with my dad to toa payoh to get my new phone and plan.
yes!
100mins plus 1000 sms and a new phone.
rocks.
then, i happen to see brods(band from superband)
and i was on my way to the MRT station to meet rachel at cine for flea market.
i decided to wait and see my luck as rachel would probably be late and JUz-B was already performing.
I WAS 3m AWAY FROM SOUL!!!
rocks man.
yeah.
and i took a super blur pic cos my phone cam SUCKS!!
but it was better than nothing.
THEY LOOK SO GOOD LIVE!!
rachel was on time for once.
and she waited for almost 1/2hr for me.
sighx.
HA!
I AM SO SORRY!

yeah. thats all i can post for now.
gotta run for my chem lesson.
i am LATE!!

hate all these crap.

2006-09-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

yeah. i really hate this.
whatever that is happening to me now.
sorry.
but you cant blame a girl to be like that.
i hate how older siblings should get scolding cos her sister flare up for NO GOOD REASON.

i just close a damn freaking internet window she finished watching her youtube and she FLARED UP.
she kept on screaming for no good reason when i held the mouse.
damn it.
i so wanted to ~~punch her on her face~~, damn it.
i cant even remember how we fought.
everything happened so fast.
i know i am rough, but she didnt have to make me fight with her right.
damn shit face.
i dont really give a crap damn about my family members looking at my blog now.
i can like purposely go give them my website and tell them to visit EVERYDAY.
maybe that could understand me that 1% more.
parents, sisters.. ARGH
i dont deny that i think i am some psyco problem kid, but why do i always get the blame.

every school day, waking up at about 6 - 6.35am
will make sure i get my sister up by 630am
i will make myself be prepared by 645-650am
then, start nagging my dad to be quick if not erkor will be late for school again.
realised that SHE is always so slow and as i get impatient, i tell her to be quick.
as i am the must reach school on time person who hates to be late, my voice will be as if i was scolding everyone in the morning.
sorry, i dont know who planted that in me.
that i wanna be on time and stuff.
i so wanna F in this post..ARGHHHHHhhhhhhh.
fish fish fish fish fish YOU
i shouldnt use the F word, i dont wanna go against what i believe.

people dont appreciate for who you are.
they wouldnt until you dissappear forever.
everyone thinks that my morning screaming and nagging is just not working to get all of the house early enough to get erkor's butt in school on time.
fine, to me, it work.
why would i wanna waste my damn sliva on some people who dont even appreciate me for me?
yeah, i wouldnt after this hols.
i made up my mind.
i will either sit at home and stone and everyone will be late for school and work, or go to school myself.
i attempt to do these before
they dont want me to go school by myself
its not safe.
outside my house to busstop is not exactly safe when its dark.
but think about it, by surpressing all these in me, do you think its good for me?
for shouting and nagging people early in the morning, its such a bad start for the day for me.
so you think that its good?
you think i enjoy screaming? no. NO!
if i am a singer who really train my voice on my own, you think i would wanna screw it up.
you think i wanna throw my damn passion into the drain.
SHIT NO!

talking about passion, why cant i take design??
wtfish, i know designer is a difficult path to go.
but passion pulls you through!
cant believe how you always ask me to help you with design while you say that no one would like my design when i wanna take designer course.
bull shit crap man.
super irony.

now i really understand how people could be really lively in the past and cos of an incident, they turn super cold to everyone.
i think that will be me one day.
yes, introvert.
to think about it, if i were not in MG but in some neighbourhood school, i would be like be in some gang group leader.
seriously, i really feel like punching someone now.
walls dont work for me.
cos i wanna punch person.

sighx, me having mental problem?
its not possible now.

studying psycology? being a psycharist?
i think i need one and sighx, i would know why all those kids are coming to me.
cos they face the same things i do at home.

now i understand why people can chop a person up after killing him/her.
relax, i wouldnt kill someone.
i will live to my own principle in life.
if not, i am the total loser.
if i would to kill one person in this world, it would be this person typing this post up.

all i have to do now is shut my mouth and dont talk to anyone
should everyone attitude and back to my daoness.
how i wish that there is such a thing as indepedent person.
someone who can live without anyone.
i just need my space and music.

i dont know how to open all these to the lord.
yes, i know he will be dissapointed with me.
but what can i do, scream at people who piss me off?
no, i only can scream at myself.
this world is not fair at all.
its like how bad rule over good.

i would curse anyone here.
i would just say all the best to you rean.
i dont know what will happen so just look out.

music, the first thing i thought that can get me out of what i am facing now.
i need to sing.
sing everything out.
this is how i unwind myself.
music - universal, international language
i will hit the piano maybe.
i tell myself, i wouldnt cry.
that are for people who are .. ..
i dont know, i think i am one such person.
the more i tell myself to not cry, the more i feel like.
I MUST LIVE TO WHAT I SAY!

i will get over this once i post this, hopefully.
rean needs to cool down at this moment and .. ..

2006-09-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

1st time ~~ponning~~ lesson without my mum's knowledge.
shhh..
but at least angie mentioned that the chem textbook was better than THE TEACHER..
so, yeah.
im not disspointed that i missed out the lesson.
2 topics to address today.

ONEwhy didnt doreen go for her lesson?
when i was out of the house, i decided to meet up with squeak and go school together.(cos we stayed so near)
she just woke up, totally forgot about chem.
i went back home to wait for her to get ready.
cont waiting at her busstop.
*take note: we were alr late for lesson
we alighted at school busstop and went mobil, meet mil hunting for food inside who was waiting for juu.
mil wanted to go KAP's cold storage to get more food.
meet juu and went KAP
finish shopping for food, we wanted to let mil eat for a while and go for our alr very late lesson.
we decided that we wouldnt understand whatever taught anyway so we stayed in KAP studying.
we figured out that lesson were boring and terrible(somehow..not telling)
others came for their lunch and saw us.
everyone decided to not go for anymore lesson after lunch cos it was killing and they didnt understand redox at all.
angie at last got it when she read the textbook.
i am so happy that i didnt go, at least i studyed a new chem topic all by myself and one that isnt in the eoys..crap.
but still, i did do something.

yeah. HA!
now, i am so afraid that she would call my mum up and tell her.
if she makes me give her an excuse letter, i am dead too.
shyte.
i will make the letter up somehow..HA!

TWOwhy was my name suppose to be Dawn Soon Jia Hui?
lets start everything from scratch.
my name was suppose to be Dawn Soon Jia Hui.
you know dawn means very early morning.
yeah, so dawn soon meant, its going to be MORNING SOON.
my mum was afraid pple will make fun of my name.
and someone in my church was called Soon Jia Hui alr.
so she decided to change it to Doris Soon Jia Yun.
but, something else arise.
she went to name the church choir Jia Yun Shi Ban(Jia Yun choir)
and if i was called jia yun, it would be like a choir dedicated to me.
so it became Doreen Soon Yun Hui.
i dont know why it isnt Doris though..HA!
jia yun is such a lovely name.
maybe i will name my daughter Dawn ___ Jia Yun:)
i better not marry a soon..HA!
if not i cant use that name...lol.
OH MY i like jiayun better than yunhui.
yes, the long history to my name:)

today is so fun.
i feel so weird trapped at home now.
going to study with squeak tmr i think.
dont feel like studying in KAP anymore.
but if we cant find another place, we will.
i really cant study at home.
I LOVE JUU!!
cos she thinks that daniel is not good looking while HYUN BIN LOOKS CUTE:)
everyone thot that daniel is hot.. but who cares.
I LOVE ASIAN GUYS!! blegh.

ngee ann poly, early childhood education, arts stream.
yeah.
i really hope i get into that course now.
like REALLY.
i dont know why.
if GOD have his plans, he will have his way for me to get in there.
jo scares me as how she tells me its so difficult to get into that course.
sighx.
for now, i dont hope much.
just let me get through sec 3 and promoted into sec4 smoothly.
everything is really scary me now.
i got a huge feeling that no matter how much i study, how early i start, i will fail really badly.
look, if everything conts like what it is now, i would fail chem, amaths, emaths(maybe) and SS/history.
shyte.
i am so dead.
i just wanna do well for physics, english, chinese, literature, emaths & chem
and pass amaths(for once) and SS/history(for once).
sighx.
do wanna crush all those books, burn them, mix them in my food, eat it and POO it out.
eww.. gross. food with ash..
YUCKS!

i am drifting from him really quickly.
i dont wanna be like that.
maybe cos i havent went for cell for a month now.
crap, i feel so bad.
i NEED TO GO FOR CELL THIS WEEK and get myself close in his embrace again.
father, pls give me wisdom and the motivation to study and get promoted to sec 4.
i need you at this point of time.
i dont ask for much, just let me pass all the subjects...argh.

seven

2006-09-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

EDITTED
Seven things that scares me
1.dark, being in my room all by myself, that includes sleeping.
2.wars and disasters eg.WW3
3. any scary movies. after watching titanic, i couldnt sleep well for 3 nights. now you know what i mean scary by.. let alone ghost movies.
4.water, as in a pool of water
5.going to hell
6.dogs
7.my huge emotions swings

Seven things I like the most about myself
1.the fact that i can laugh at myself for all the stupid things i do
2.being able to be myself even though everyone laughs at me
3.make big dreams about my future
4.dont let others see thru me as easily as i seem to be
5.for being special, not trying to fit in. eg. dreaming of being a korean..
6.making pple around me laugh
7.FOR BEING SHORT!!:) God has a plan for everything right?

Seven most important things in my room
1.queen-sized bed
2.huge radio/cd-player
3.wardrobe
4.3 angle mirrors that no one else have:)
5.earrings
6.cds!
7.books!(diaries,magazine,bible,no story book...HA!)

Seven random facts about me
1.MUSIC IS MY LIFE!!
2.my name was suppose to be Dawn Soon Jia Hui
3.I WANNA GET MARRIED TO A KOREAN:) korea..rocks!!
4.i only listen to chinese, korean and jap music.
5.i love gummies,white chocolate, watermelon and lollipops.
6.i hate ANIMALS(exp fish) AND CHOCOLATE!!
7.i am not aneroxic, just take care of what i eat.

Seven things I would like to do before I die
1.thank GOD for my life
2.GO KOREAN and shop eat till i drop:)
3.spread the word to all my love ones
4.at least get to do a bit of all my ambitions
5.get married and have kids?HA!
6.talk to all my love ones(that includes friends) and tell them how they have impacted my life
7.GO KBOX, sing and dance till i drop!!

Seven things I can't do
1.swim for NUTS!
2.score well in my exams
3.LIVE WITHOUT FRIENDS!!
4.not sing for a day
5.use photoshop
6.punch someone i really hate in his/her face
7.SPEAK proper KOREAN!!(thou i can sing korean)
i decided that i dont wanna learn jap anymore since everyone trying to learn jap. i wanna be special..korea..argh.!!

Seven things I say the most
1.yoz
2.asshole
3.stupid
4.oh my gosh
5.huh??
6.what the hell(got influenced by angela)
7.ooi!

Seven celebrities that comes to your mind first
1.SHE
2.SOUL
3.ENERGY
4.HYUN BIN
5.sun ah(the actress kim sam soon)
6.BoA
7.xiao zhu SHOW

Seven people I would like to see do this
1.squeak
2.lydia tan
3.genia
4.elieen
5.joanne
6.cassie
7.angie:)

LOVE YOU!!

2006-09-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

let the pictures do the talking about US wonderful stayover.

happy birthday rachel:)

everyone looking at different directions. vera mentioned that we were like taking family potrait.
yeah, we are!!! family forever girls:)

I LOVE YOU RAINA-na LOTS!!
go figure out if im a les or not..HA!
lol.
raina really look at kailin at some angle.
yeah.

LOVE YOU ALL LOTS!!

2006-09-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

PSS AUDITIONS
i went there at 2, left at 430.
i saw,
tongen, geraldine, khim, teresa, yuyang, jason(pss), another pss dude and singer which i cannot remember their name.. heex. paiseh.
tongen look really good life.
really, much better than i expected.
she is so gorgeous, i just realised.
her singing is so good, my gosh.
OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I SAW RENFRED.
cos i found a really good spot there like, one meter away from the stage.
im so smart.
it was like spending a nice 4 mins with renfred.
aww, so sweet.
his singing improved and he still look as good.
THE PISSING THING ABOUT EVERYTHING IS ~~i didnt get to see soul~~
dont know what happened to them, worried.
sighx, i went there for the intention to watch them.
i must say i enjoyed myself a lot.
but i feel so cheated, sighx.
i dont know why.
i didnt get to see them and JUZ-B.
yeah.
maybe they couldnt make is or something, just like sun ho.
yeah.

CSS show is coming up.
yeah. i cant wait to see renfred hit the screens once again.
but in that show, he is going to be with teresa..
sighx. why cant it be someone else, or geraldine??
dean wants to him to act as her bf too..
and she is not acting in this show cos of some timing problem.
crap.
i dont really like teresa still even though her singing was really good today.
doubt there will be a SuperBand show though, cos there is too many people in that competition and too little girls.. HA!

now i know what addiction is now.
you dont feel anything at all, you just wanna see that person.
yeah.
it was like, i didnt even eat my lunch and stood there waiting for soul and watching renfred and dean.
until everything was over, i just realised that i havent eaten lunch.
it was then i realised that i was thirsty, tired from standing and hungry.

THANK YOU MUMMY:)
thanks for letting me stay throughout the whole thing.
sighx, if i knew that you were so nice from the start, everything could have been better.
i remember how i 1st saw ENERGY at J8 w/o her knowing, but went home and got a trashing for coming home so late but likely vera's mum fetched me home.
the 2nd time seeing ENERGY was at J8 too, autograph session with lydia.
i still remember how we queued for 7 hours, waited 45 mins cos of the weather they were late, then getting into the place to get my album signed.
i left like when its going to be my turn in like 1/2hrs time??
its just 1/2 hr more, but mummy called and ask me to go home.
if that time i didnt get her permission, i wouldnt have seen ENERGY face to face...
lydia was right, i shouldnt assume that my mum would not allow me to see them, i should have open my mouth and ask, like today.
haix, but i was so afraid that she wouldnt allow.
THANKS again mummy, love you:)

yeah.
clique picture will be coming up.
thats until faith sends it to me:)
no pressure, faith.
but await for the pics, its really nice:)

THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.

tmr, doreen will start to push her specs up and study like a nerd.
a nerdoreen..
yeah, like what was said on genia's blog. nerdoreen, murdureen.
whatever to that though..HA!
i dont wanna fail FLAT ON MY NOSE so i will continue to start to be nerdy once again.
yes, this weekend was a GREAT, FANSTASTIC FILLED weekend that really helped destressed me and i am willing to study really hard this coming 5 days cos i can tell that, GOD PLANNED ALL THESE.
thanks father:)

adapting life like what it have to give me.
all the sad emo memories pushed aside.
say HALO to happy life:)
i dont need you

2006-09-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

TMR TMR TMR!!
yeah. i am so CONFIDENT that i will see SOUL.
hope not alot pple will go there and crowd the place..
moreover, RENFRED will be there too.
see both FREDs on the same day..
so cute;)
there is geraldine and zhiyang too...
WOAH!
just realised that MLB wouldnt be appearing
so, i really cant find anyone who will go there with me there and be so siao.
but thinking about it, if me alone go there and watch them, wouldnt it be really weird.
its like, everyone is going with a friend and i am all alone..
sighx.
it will be weirder if my sis joins me.
and i have to keep a look out for her.
sighx.
the saddest thing is, i dont have a DAMN camera.
so i cant take any pics..
damn.
its okay.
everything shall be in my HEAD:)

:)
oh.
i am going NUTS
SOUL SOUL SOUL.
thinking about them makes me crazy..
ok, that sound a little wrong.. HA!
andy, justis, alfred, awi & ishi .. ..
HERE I COME:)

ngee ann poly.
the place where i agreed with my future to go.
yes, i think i will enjoy myself if i study there.
and i guess that is where HE wants me to go.
that is the direction i have been asking these few months for.
THANKS ALOT MYbelovedFATHERabove:)

now i miss my clique terribly.
really enjoyed myself to the max pls.
HA!
genia, it would be really weird to still have stayovers when we are 40s, but i dont mind:)LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR POST-EXAMs stayover:)

watched the devil wears prada this afternoon.
its not a very nice show thou.maybe its just me.
found it a little boring thou.
i love the way the director did the shooting thou.
i did learn a little something though.
not exactly learn, but a reminder for me.
sorry squeak, i watched it w/o you..

the song that kunda wrote on ENERGY's new album is damn meaningful pls..

HA!
sorry, really random.
but i really love the lyrics.
interested in the song, pls ask me:)
like online or something.. yeah

kimsamsoon kimsamsoon kimsamsoon,
hyun bin is so cute.
i know it doesnt rhyme, its not suppose to anyway.
i dont understand why rachel&trina like daniel.
that henry dude.
sighx.

i am going nuts over all SOUL, ENERGY&kimsamsoon:)
its his birthday today.
and my blog 1yr anniversary a few days ago.
sighx.
neverending memories.

CLIQUE STAYOVER

2006-09-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

i love my clique.
YEAH!
at last going out and spending the whole day together.
yeah.
ALL 7 OF US:)
HA!.

in vera's hse now.
faith couldnt stayover... sighx.
only if all of us could stayover.
its okay.
we will one day.
everyone is going crazy over kim samsoon.
i so hope hyun bin would come to singapore.
SO CUTE:)

OH YA!, vera mum can cook for nuts ok.
the STRAWBERRY CHESSECAKE is so damn nice.
shyte..i loved dinner as well.

HAPPY early 10 days BIRTHDAY TO RACHEL LIN JIA
baby of our clique..HA!

at last changing phone and plan... YES.
on 4th sept.
so, will so look forward to that...

vera is so angry that raina changed her phone wallpaper.
cos vera was her wallpaper.. HA!
ok, damn off point.
sighx..
i am getting too high pls.
i dont even feel like going for cell tmr cos wanna spent more time with clique.
see about it tmr.

I CANT BELIEVE.
SOUL!!! rocks man
on sunday, appearing at Toa Payoh HDB HUB.
performing after 2.
yeah, i can always rush there after service since church is only 5 mins away from there.
LOVE IT:)
next sat, 9th sept, at HDB HUB again, they are performing, but dont know what time yet... heex.
cant wait to go and see them.
but i think alot of pple will be there...
i really wanna see them thou.. HA!
maybe i should ask cassie to go with me, see if her MLB is going or not.
BLAHBLAH, i love my SOUL.

now vera is complaining non stop.
shyte... HA!
she is saying how she will just delete my post if it is emo.
HA!, cos i am using her computer... hee.

ok, should stop here now.
vera is complaining how long my post is.
sighx.. vera tan argh.
ok.
nights for now.
or i should say EARLY sat morning:)

*i really feel so fat but yet anorexic

2006-09-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

DOREEN IS A STUPID GIRL!!
yeah, i am.
in the sense that, my back is already so painful and i made it worse.
okay, background information.
shit this sound so history source base.. nvm-.-
now, doreen is currently going high on SOUL.
and so happen, she found out that rising sun was sang by this korean band, dong fang shen qi(DFSQ) and ENERGY's ai shi kong was sang by them too.
she went to check them out on youtube since she saw their advert for their new album on the tv.
'THEIR DANCING IS SO GOOD', she tells herself.
and now, she is stuck on youtube, on the computer cos ofDFSQ.
yes, she is always getting high on boybands and singers at the wrong time of the year..
(ie, psle-5566, sec1 eoys- ENERGY, sec2 midyear- ENERGY,sec3 eoys - SOUL,DFSQ)

okay, enough of background info before i start posted lots of guys pictures... lol.
then yesterday i was really DAMN HIGH after watching rising sun mvs in chinese, korean and jap.
for dinner, cos i sat so long infront of the computer learning a maths and ~~on youtube~~, i couldnt sit down and have my meal, so i end up standing thru the whole dinner.
i started dancing cos i couldnt limit myself as there was so much more space to move around when you are standing up compare to sitting down.
i started like dancing for a good 30 mins.
i admit i really thought i was MAD.
my mum,sister and maid definately thought like me too.
i was sweating like A COW!!
its like raining.. yeah.
and before i knew it, my back hurt like SIAO!!
ok..fine.
this is the story about how stupid someone can get under time of stress.
HA!

my back hurts so much, my lips and finger are swollen for dont know what reason.
i am like the weakest in my family now.
even the doctor recognises me as the sicky.
yeah, teachers are afraid of me cos when i am sick, I AM SICK and will be for at least a week..
HA!
yeah, i really wanna learn how to dance and i need my back to recover before it becomes un-curable...
no more moving too much at the moment.
the doctor said i couldnt run, i dance... DUMB!

no happy children's day to me.
happy pain day perhaps..
no.
its happy painful stress day..
argh
english paper 1 and SS paper tmr.
pray for me.
all the best to fellow friends in mgs.
good luck for me.

2006-08-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

sighx. MATHS KILLS, really.
i really cant stand amaths.
its like such a killer.
sighx.
it killed me physically and mentally and i feel so dead now.
crap.

tomorrow will be an even worst day for me even though i am finishing school earlier compared to everyone else.
lessons end at 1230 and i would need to fly and eat my lunch and go for commendation awards' rehearsal.
then go for the actually award ceremony.
it will be boring i know.
but i have to go still.
and then, all these end around 4.30 to 5pm
i will be flying home after that and bathe and get ready for cantabile.
yep. i am going.
hope it would not be boring.
now, i dont even feel like going to school tmr.
CRAP

today is ending, tomorrow is coming
that means ITS GOING TO BE HOLIDAY AFTER TMR.
yeah, then i can sleep like a PIG:)
and revise for my exams like a crazy nerd.

so long for now, watching kim sam soon as i post this.
i know, i am nuts over this show like ... ARGH
the minute i came home, i just rushed to the compter and started watching.
ARGH!! HYUN BIN IS SO CUTE:)
going nuts again

ARGH

2006-08-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

in school now.
sighx.

yesterday was such an unlucky day for me.
1stly, my sister got pissed at me for some stupid petty reason.
turning off the computer cos she was gaming instead of studying for her chinese CA3 the next day.
yeah.. weirdo.
then my asthma was like acting up again and was like damn itchy lar..crap.
it almost bleed again though..
yeah.
then, i was just painting like on cloth for someone.
was using acrylic paint but then decided to use nail polish instead.
then, i accidentally drop the bottle of BLACK nail polish on my WHITE TILED floor in my room and... shyte.
i thot the bottle is going to crack and break.
it didnt though, but it made my floor black.
i srubbed the DAMN FLOOR for 45 mins.
i used like watch and tissue pls cos i dont have a nail polish remover.
havent bought a new one yet.
i admit that it was a piece of art, the way the nail polish spill on the floor.
I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF IT, cos i was panicking cleaning.
my leg were spotted with black nail polish as well.
so i went to the toilet to rub my hands and leg.
damn painful lar.
my mum realised whatever happened and she told me that we have tinner at home, which is also nailpolish remover just that it is in a bigger tin.
i was like thanks man, i srubbed everything out with my hands and my nails were dying.
after rubbing all the black paint off my leg, i wanted to use the hose to wash all the soap off, and i turned on the WRONG TAP, and water started to come out for the shower which was above me head.. thanks man.
i was all wet and soap were still on my leg...crap.
fine, i went to change and decided to sleep at 2152 since i am so tired after all the rubbing and cleaning.
i went to get mattress to sleep in my mum's room and then my HEAD HIT MY COUSIN's GUITAR.
it was a kids guitar but its damn painful lar..
sighx.
how bad can my day get man..
and i spent like a whole hour trying to find HYUN BIN's pic and only got like 10 of him...shyte.

rachel loves her daniel henney from my name is kim sam soon.
apparently, trina thinks he is cute too.
BUT I STILL LOVE MY HYUN BIN.
he look so much better than daniel(aka henry in that korean show)
sighx. they just like all those ang moh dudes.
I GO FOR ASIAN GUYS:)
HA!

my korean dream.
argh... i am totally going nuts..HA!

2006-08-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOSH.
i seriously think that MY LOVELY SAMSOON IS SO DAMN NICE.
only letty disagree.
but who cares man.

check out the main leading male actor.
HYUN BIN!!

he is so damn hot pls.
SO CUTE:)HA!
my cut for korean guys.
i LOVE IT:)
HA! like what i told squeak, i wanna get married to an korean guy.
i dont know why but i just go high about korea as most of you know if you did read my blog often enough.
my 1st target when i start working will be save up for my 1st korean trip.
or maybe i should even go there and study.
so i cant stay there AS LONG AS I WISH:)

i going nuts over korea...ARGH!!
HA!
if i were given a chance to change one thing about myself, it would definately to BE AN KOREAN:)HA!
yeah.. HA!
sighx doreen...HA!
maybe i should give myself a korean name too...argh..

korea and being a korean is driving me nuts once again.

2006-08-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

ENERGY XING REN LEI ALBUM OUT TODAY
how can everything turn out like that?
when one goes and the other comes.
i got nothing else to say since i spent all my heart and emotions typing on my actual entry that i was suppose to post.
and it just vanish out of my sight the moment i click publish post.
maybe GOD dont wanna be to post any too emo entries here.
so i really don t have the energy and time to grab all my emotions back when i type the entry to retype all over again, which i always do.
i am just glad that now, i have told the 3rd person about it.
so its just him and my memory that knows what my acutal post was about.
sighx.

gb tmr, i am feeling so sick that i dont even feel like going.
my mood is just going down that drain.. no maybe well..yeah.
hope for the better.
hope everything will turn out for the better.
i know he have his own reasons in setting this herdle for me to leap over.
I WILL OVERCOME.
shyte, the moment i think i will, its the moment i feel that i will never overcome it.
ARGH.
seriously, life sucks.
hope yours its not as bad as mine.
maybe life rocks, but to be more specific and correct, its only DOREEN's life that sucks and not a general statement.
so there you go.

now, no one to confide in.
i dont know.
maybe i just dont wanna talk about it.
but im happy that ANGELA TEO YU HUI always gives me little 'scoldings' when i become too emo on my blog.
thanks for that, angie.
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK JO TOO:)
for the testtube thingy. so sweet!
yeah.

belarbelarboo:)

2006-08-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

school. hmm.
the place of joy and happiness?
minus teachers, homework and stress.
yeah. HA!
i really thankful for people around who makes me laugh :)
i know i make you guys laugh like crazy too..

MY LOVELY SAMSOON IS SUCH A NICE SHOW.
wo jiao jin san xiu in chinese that is..
ROCKS:)

so fake, my laughter.
the most terrible laughter i encountered in my whole entire life, today during chem..
i know that i was feeling really down and lousy cos I CANT STAND HER.
and i was forcing myself to laugh with em and jo.
shyte, its not good being fake.
i dont like myself being like that.
I HATE HER, can she just stop picking on me?
can SHE at least say sorry when she does the wrong thing?
why cant teachers apologise? i dont understand.
damn it, it was so bad.
i was cursing and swearing the whole time.
the F word almost came out.. almost.
until em reminded me that we are christians.. ARGH.
i was hitting the table during chem prac so much.
i know em and jo realised it.
i really wanna and was so tempted to throw that testtube on the floor, and clutch it so tight in my hand and allow it to cut me.
then i will throw another tube and pick up the remainings on the floor and shuff it into HER EYES for irritating me.
HATE YOU!!

sighx.
quite depressed hearing that this friday got no cell.
frastrations, i am sick of school
its like a never ending jail for your life.
though the friends there are so nice and stuff, some TEACHERS sucks.
they just come along your way in school and screw up your whole day.
180 degrees change in your emotions and how you wish she can just die the second she steps out of class..
*@#$*()^#)(*$)(*@#)&*^@%)#&*%^)@#&%^)!@&#%^)@&%^)@*&%^)!*#&%^)!@#%*&^!)#%*&^!#)$*(&!)(*^!#)*(%^!Y#)!&@^$)!@*($#(%*&)@!#%*!&_%!(#*&%_!(*%!&!@^
i shouldnt attempt to type any valgur words here..
ARGHh.

why whenever i feel that my life is turning for the better, that moment i thought that everything will be on the right track, it goes wrong and off track??
i am like in a car that cannot seem to find my direction.
whenever i think i am on the road to my destination, i see a roadblock.
life sucks.

LA:)

2006-08-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

did my 2nd complain letter in my life today.
about ______
i will be so mean to the extent of putting her name here:)
oh, my 1st one was to mediacorp.
mediacorp approved mine, how difficult can this get.
but i really hopes it gets approved as well.
i am good in complaining...ME!!
shyte, i shouldnt be exactly proud doing that.. but who cares thou.
my letter: 941 words..WOOT!

I SHOWED MY UNDYING FOR LOVE FOR JOANNE LIM AT THE BUSSTOP THIS AFTERNOON.
witnesses: kwok and squeak.
HA! it was so funny.
squeak and i were on our way to KAP to study SS.
while walking there, we meet jo and kwok at the busstop.
then jo was talking to squeak, and i was like lying on jo's back + bag, pointing at jo behind her back while she say busy talking and mouthing the words 'SHE IS MY BOYFRIEND' to kwok who was sitting down.
she just sat there and giggle.
and i DONT EVEN KNOW WHY, i just decided to hug jo from the back and like embrace her on her waist.
OH MY GOSH, i didnt know she would have such a big response.
she was like EWWing all the way and jumped around.
HA!
kowk laughed like crazy and squeak was like do what did you do? why did you do that?.. HA!
it was so funny.
jo was busy cleaning her uniform with the pole at the busstop..sighx.
HA!
if people who didnt know me saw that, they must really think that i am a lesbian..HA!

yeah. and i am so upset with myself today cos i went KAP.
hello, count the calories..
its craziness.
lucky i shared a meal with squeak.
a student meal with her, so it aint that bad.
not like rachel, A WHOLE MEAL TO HERSELF :D HA!

i am so tired after translating almost a thousand english words to chinese.
HAIX!!
dying..

5 chapter of chem, 1 chapter of SS ..DOWN!

ok. enough of crap.
I LOVE JOANNE:)

crap

2006-08-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

my back hurts.
argh.
the old damn injury.
dont ask me why i dont have a pmc and not doing pe.
its really painful, but its like i still can do pe.
condition not as bad as kwok's one lar..
didnt go for cell.
feel so sad.
i didnt didnt go cos squeak didnt go.
i didnt go cos of my back.. really.
i know my bag was damn heavy the minute i lifted it from my chair in class.
but i thought it would be alright.
i didnt feel any pain until i finish my 'mountain' climbing to my house.
yes, the road here is steep until cannot steep unfurther.
its like.. 50 - 60 degrees type eh.
the minute i knock on the door of my house, i couldnt help myself anymore cos i felt a deep pain coming from my back.
i dropped my bag immediately cos i couldnt left it up any longer.
my mum opened the door seeing me in this state.
i told her that my bag is damn heavy and my back hurts like crazy.
she asked me to stay at home and not go for cell..
yeah.
CME was fun today. HA!
now i know what i am famous for, lesbian and flirting.
thanks man.
last week, jo was like trying to give me roles of pple from taiwan serials.
and end up, out of any other character in shows, i get all the flirty guys who constantly surrounded by woman.
sighx jo.

i open the newspaper, i saw the article.
memories just rush to me, i almost couldnt take it.
why are you back?
i thought you did left for good.
my shock instead lead me to act happy infront of everyone else.
i will take everything as it still, just pretend that i dont know all the empty promises before and will still trust every word that comes out from your mouth.
since you choose to leave 2 months before, not letting me know anything, why did you still come back?
i got a aim in life now.
but, you came in at the wrong time.
now, i am afraid that you will screw everything up in my life like what you did the other time.
girl slowly recovering from the damage is going to be damage again.
crap.

back hurts are insane.
i think i will pop panadol again.
yes, i am addicted to it.
its like when i am in pain, panadol does it all.
its not very effective actually, its me mentally.
i used to eat 8 per day for 2 weeks.
cos of pain..yeahh.

i think i will change a blogskin soon.
i am sick of this skin.. i know.
this skin is just too.. hmm. doesnt suit my ARGH emo mood all over again.
blogskin hunting.

chemistry, 2 chapters down.
I HATE HOW TEACHERS ALWAYS SAY THAT WE WILL FAIL AND RETAIN NEXT YEAR.
not only fail and get retained, she sees the POTENTIAL in us to fail and get retained as a class.
pls, no one uses 'potential to fail' to motivate their students to study.
this only motivate them to not study and fail as a class.
i am so tempted to do so.
cos anyway, i am going poly and everyone thinks that poly is alr wasting one year of your life.. so who bothers?
i am not a guy so army dont affect my uni life.
SHUT THAT BIG RED NOSE UP

2006-08-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

my mum signed by progess report for CA3 without saying anything.. phew.
i thot she will start commenting on the teachers' comment on me.
I NEED TO BE FOCUSED IN CLASS? i thought i was already very focused.. nvm.

its such a bad day and time to go SOUL fanclubs and download all the remaining songs they sang that the fanclub peeps had just uploaded.
cos i was like revising for emaths test and listening to their song.
i end up looking blankly at the slide/video and concentrated my head on their songs.
my head was like picturing whatever i could remember of the finals i watched on tv that fateful saturday.
that saturday which marked their future..
i really regretted that they did win.
i really regretted not calling more..sighx.
so many pple thought that would win thou.

i just realised something.
the more you are on a diet, the heavier you get.
i think i got heavier... SHYTE.
yeah. i dont know. i just keep on thinking that i am going fatter and fatter.
and everyone thinks i am thin.. i look thin but i am not.
i really am so tempted to go slice off all my muscles on my legs.
they are too much that i am getting sick of it.
cos it make me weigh so much heavier than i am suppose to be.
MUSCLE ARE HEAVIER THAN FATS.
i think not all turf club pple are fat. they are just heavy.
yeah. so in other words.
those pple who are light doesnt mean they are skinny, they can have more fats than a person who is muscular and have a little fats(cos she is a human being??HA!).
yeah. so now i do get lydia's logic on why she has lots of fats and she is on a diet.
i understand, you just need muscle.HA!
but to think of it, without those muscle i have, i would be really underweight.
i will be like 39-40kg.
really!! not kidding.
cos my leg muscles are so big and disgusting..
my cousin will poke it and say 'why is it so hard?'
sighx. same goes for my bottom..haix
meijin always say its hard..
pple think muscles are cool i use to think so.
but now, i dont want anymore leg muscle cos my thighs muscle is bigger than the level of my knee.
you know what i mean.

totally disgusted.

i dont think i will go on a diet.
i will go on a FRUIT diet:)
eatting fruits for recess from now onwards:)

confession to make

2006-08-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

DOREEN GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

i officially confess that...
I REALLY DO LOVE RACHEL LIN JIA :)
muacks** you made my day as well..LOVE<3

2006-08-14T18:28:00.000-07:00

DROP IT AT MY COMMENTS AT THE END OF THIS ENTRY.
COMMENTS ARE THE WORDS IN RED..

WHAT IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?[12] Would you f*** me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

2006-08-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

The Most Powerful Book in America
They lie on the table side by side

The Holy Bible and the TV guide.

One is well worn and cherished with pride.

Not the Bible, but the TV guide.

One is used daily to help folks decide.

No, not the Bible, but the TV guide.

As the pages are turned, what shall they see.

Oh, what does it matter, turn on the TV.

Then confusion reigns, they can't all agree

On what they should watch on the old TV.

So they open the book in which they confide.

No, not the Bible, but the TV guide.

The Word of God is seldom read,

Maybe a verse as they fall into bed.

Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be;

Not from reading the Bible, from watching TV.

So then back to the table side by side,

Lie the Holy Bible and the TV guide.

No time for prayer, no time for the Word,

The plan of Salvation is seldom heard.

But forgiveness of sin, so full and free,

Is found in the Bible, not on TV.

Choose which book will rule your family.

~The author is unfortunately "unknown"~

as my bros eat their dinner, i should take the opportunity to blog:)
isnt it a beautiful poem, which makes you think about your spiritual life with the father.
yeah, this is the nice poem i was talking to xiang about on my tagboard.
and the one that was read out during prayer meeting last week if you missed it.
though i dont watch tv alot, but i guess it applies to me as well.
pls start to read your bible if you feel gulity after reading the poem.
its a love book specially written for us:)
HE loves you:)

CA3 results are back.
i am actually quite ok with my results.
i did improve.
but i know i still didnt try hard enough.
i am actually quite pleased with my L1R5 but not av. marks and msg.
but seeing that everyone is class are so depressed over their results, its selfish, cruel, evil, terrible of me to cheer when i see improvement in my results.
i cant.
i only can start saying how i am actually so far from straight As.
i mean, i actually will never expect my results to be all As.
that is total craziness.
just a feel here and there lightens me up, but i dont deserve to feel like that.
everyone is so depressed, how happy can i get.
hence, i end up being in a more 'sighing' mood compared to everyone else.
yeah, my emotions are easily swayed by people around me.
everyone's mourning, but before i know it, they all stop while i cont to mourn for them.
RESULTS
english B4
chinese C5
emaths A1
amaths F9
chemistry B4
physics C5
SS/history F9
literature A1
L1R5= 15

if you did notice, my results are like B4 C5 A1 F9 and the other half is the same.
its repetition... ok so literature.
yeah.
now i hate myself.
if i did studied a LITTLE harder for chem and physics and practice a LITTLE harder for amaths, i would have pass Amaths and use my chem and physics to help me cover up for my DUH WILL DEFINATELY FAIL SS/history.
tell you, i HAVENT PASSED HISTORY in a long time.
only once in sec 2.
i dont know why i even take 1/2 history..DAMN
but no matter what, i still will thank the FATHER up there for my results and all glory and honor to him.
without him, i dont even know if i could study in MGS.
FATHER, YOUR GRACE IS TOO GOOD FOR ME.
AN NEVER ENDING FOUNTAIN OF GRACE for me.
i love you.

I DONT NEED THE TV GUIDE NOW.
i need the bible, GOD and his strength and wisdom to start studying for my end of years.
and now, i hit those books again.
1st subject, CHEMISTRY(dont ask me why this sub)

lalala:)

2006-08-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

now i know why no matter how tired, weary, sian i get on fridays, i still will drag my feet to CELL.
COS I LOVE CELL!!
CELL 1 2 3:)
yeah.
yesterday cell was wonderful beyond wonderful.
i just love the way i can so carefreely get all my answers in life answered just like that.
just open your mouth and people will be there to help you out.
THANKS PEEPS:)
i thank GOD for emma for bring me to cell.
i thank GOD for squeak for always encouraging me to cell even when i really feel tired.
cell is a time of refreshment during your time of weariness.
I SO WANT A CELL BLOG:)
i think me and squeak will do it..
SO FUN.

dear father,
you are so great.
a burden lifted from me, i feel so wonderful again.
in your presence, i never fail to have that smile of joy on my face.
I LOVE YOU.
i wanna spent time with you more and more each day.
i live for you.
I WANNA SEE YOU MORE.
i will be that light for you in the darkness.
sing your name always, i walk beside you.
yearn for the day to see your face:)
your daughter, doreen

SCHOOL TEST PRESSURE.
haix.
terribly horrible way to spent your weekend.
my back aches again.. SHYTE.
and i am not an old granny XIANG!!
SHE ringringring is such a turf song to sing..
haix.
randomness i know.

I AM SO HAPPY FOR THIS TERM.
SAY HELLO TO A1 TO EMATHS AND LITERATURE.
HA! i am so glad that my lit is constantly improving.
I LOVE MRS LEONG.
if it wasnt for her, i would get an C5 for literature cos she didnt receive my assignment email.
THANK YOU:)
i really hope i at least score a B for chinese.
its really rare to get a B in my class for chinese.
lao shi is so strict.
BUT WE WILL IMPROVE:)
oh, and i got a FLAT F9 for AMATHS AND SS/HISTORY, i think.
why must i somehow get an F somewhere in my report list.
even end years, i would still probably see my SS/HISTORY still with the red mark..
sighx.

LALALALA!!
tata.

2006-08-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

I CANT BELIEVE THIS.
i rush home just to do english homework.
have to hand it up by 10 tonight.
but i will be at cell
so need to rush through it now and send it to mrs choo.
sighx.
and i am sending for angela, emma and squeak.
sighx.. HA!

drill was okay lar.
i know know how stressful my seniors used to spent time to teach me drill..
sighx.
pri 2 kids are cute, but can be annoying at kids.
if i need to face them everday, i will just scream at them and get really angry.
but once in a while, and moreover they are pretty cute.
can enjoy them sucking up to me at the same time.
but the way some of them do that is just .. gross.
HA!
repeated the same commands again and again for a whole 2 hours.
i didnt know stacey took drill course..
i still did all the commands.
i am so THRISTY NOW still after drinking 1/2 of my mini bottle water:)

sighx.
gtg go prepare to go for cell.
CHEMISTRY TEST IS REALLY TURF
and i got so many test to complete and study for next weeks.
second thoughts about going for caps ball and cell tmr at TP.

so sian..

2006-08-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

yes. i think they shouldnt give us hols in the middle of the week.
maybe one like wed to fri.
weekends would feel so much longer.
really dont look forward going to school on friday:/
but relax pals, i would still drag my heavy feets to school.

we are having school hols too often that i am getting scared of hols now.
founder's day, elearning, national day... coming sep hols.. ITS FREAKING ME OUT.
not cos of too little hols or too happy that i am freaking out, i am freaking out cos i dont get to go to school.
i am freaking out for my studies.

SOUL SOUL SOUL SOUL!!!
OH MY GOSH. you never know how crazy i get over them.
the 1st thing i do when i come on to the computer is to go to my music folder and listen to their music.
yes. i went to download all their tracks from some crazy SOUL fanclub.
HA! how lovely...
i visit their blog everytime i come online.
and watch their LOVELY performances everything on you tube.
I LOVE YOU TUBE:)
THEY CAN SING i am saying this again.
just that they are dancing at the same time and ya, you know how ALOT of singers/bands actaully lip sing when they dance.
NOT ENERGY NOT SOUL.
but THAT band i mentioned to lydia the other time.
you all should know who:)
i went to get like TONS of their pics and ALFRED's too.
SO CUTE!!!
me and lydia was just talking about the FREDs the other day..HA!
she cant beat me in debating .. HA!
I WANNA WATCH SOUL AGAIN AND AGAIN NON STOP:)
[this is super random, i just feel like typing it]

national day.
its not such a OH I MUST WATCH FIREWORKS to me.
as usual, i dont watch the parade cos its the same every year.
and tell you truthfully, i dont see anything so nice about fireworks.
its just me, but i know a whole lot of people love it.
but surprisely, this time, i watched the back part of the parade.
the part of the fireworks.
all i could say is, alot of colours in the dark NO STAR night sky in singapore.
yeah.
i only like the reflection dance thingy the kids did in the beginning i think.
that was pretty cool..
I LOVE THE SCHOOL's NATIONAL DAY CELEBRATIONs:)

and i am so bored at home.
other than listening to 933, cos my stupid cd player is down AT THE WRONG TIME, all i do is EAT
which is so bad.
i just gained 1/2 kg, shyte.
i must really push myself to go on a HUGE DIET.
and i hate mozzies.., i got so many bites...ARGH
JUST TO TELL YOU PEEPS OUT THERE. I DONT SLEEP IN AN AIRCONDITIONED ROOM.
my room is already FREAKY COLD with the fan at speed 3 and the werid thing is, my room is cold 24/7.
yeah. its never warm.
thats the only part of the house that i cold when it still gets the morning afternoon and evening sun..WEIRD.
oh. and i CANNOT SLEEP WITH THE AIRCON ON TOO OFTEN.
cos i would have a terribly back the next day.
and i wouldnt be able to sleep the following nights cos i cannot lie down.
and my dumb leg will be all ache the next day i wake up, its just weird lar.
the whole leg just cant move and i will just tear.. yeah.
SHYTE.

I WANNA DANCE:)
lalalalala.
opps, thats singing...but, WHO CARES:)
i love both and i LOVE my beautiful mood today.
hope nothing can BRING ME DOWN:)

anyone wanna hear SOUL's song?
anyone wanna watch SOUL dance..
i really feel like putting it on my blog.
ok, no need to protest.. HA!

OH SO colourful entry.
cos i just realised again that MY BLOG IS SO un-coloured

whatever

2006-08-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

had national day celebrations today.
it was .. ok lar.
our class got so high.. HA!
too bad for peeps who didnt come to school.

went orchard with my clique minus genia plus lydia.
sighx.
just to tell you guys, we havent went out as a clique yet.
then, vera decided to watch lakehouse with vitoria and left at 12 ++
trina and lydia decided to go and check timings for click.
faith disappeared to wisma alone.
raina acutally planned to leave to watch tokyo drifters with mil at 2 but end up she left at 1 ++
ME AND RACHEL, poor us.
i know you guys must be thinking that i was totally joking when i said that i dont wanna ever go out in a clique outing, i am DEAD serious.
to me, clique outings are a waste of time for me now.
it was a total different thing last time.
its like, we go out together but we end up doing totally different stuff.
its more like, we come out to have clique meals/lunching.
like some family gathering.
i agree with vera, if this continues, we will just not bother talking to each other next year.
and how true is that? we will see.
i shouldnt post too much about what i feel about US here, its not very nice and just ask me if you want.
now, i am starting to even wonder why did we even come together and become a clique in the 1st place.

enough of the WADEVER clique talk..
i actaully ate so much and spent so much today at town.
i admit that i was spending on impulse and i am spending cos i very 'bu shuang' if that is how you spell.
i am like pissed off over the whole outing.
i rather go out with other people.. who should consider everything again.{US}
i am not very good in venting anger cos everyone thinks that i am just playing around, so i end up hurting myself.
so now you know its not good being a jokey person, everyone dont believe in your moods.
i bought a
- fox top
- white tube
- button studs
- earrings
and i ate like so much that i feel so disgusted with myself.
i am going to really not hit 40kg like that..

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh
ok. now i dont understand myself.
how can anyone cry when they see people they like performing??
it like, ok.. its all back.
sighx. i dont wanna feel like that.
cos of the issue that spoil my whole mood.

should talk about something i like. SOUL:)
THEY CAN SING OK, TRINA!!
cos you dont watch all their performance..
i really hope they do come out a album and perform more often..
PLS TELL ME OR TAG ME IF YOU SEE THEM IN MAGAZINES!!

DANCE it, DRAW it, SING it, VENT it out.

ARGHH

2006-08-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

I TOOK ALMOST FOREVER TO DO THIS BLOGSKIN.
yeah.. HA!

HEADACHE KILLS.
trust me.
even though everyone usually use head as an excuse of being 'sick', i HATE IT.
i am like dying here while i do my blogskin, surf for SOUL and type this entry..

i will miss superband though.
i am becoming more and more siao over SOUL.
i went to watch all their performances on YOUTUBE, DL their pics and songs, went to their friendster site, their blog...SIGHX DOREEN.
i really hope they do get a contract too.
THEY CAN SING.
just that they need some chinese class...
but they inproved so much since the auditions..HA!
I AM SO BORED AT HOME.
wanted to study.
but i will do that only like in the afternoon when i know what work i need to complete..

believe it or not, i almost wanted to make my blogskin SOUL.
so be thankful that i decided to be hazel's 1st drawing here.
AHha!
and be thankful that i was sick, i will just probably rattle over SOUL NON-STOP!
and start telling everyone how they COULD ACTUALLY HAVE WON if it wasnt for the technical problem.
i feel so ARGH for them.. but, RUNNER UP usually do better:)

i need to feel unemo or super high.
and the only way to do that is, to be crazy over celebrity that i will so impossible be able to meet in my life..HA!

I LOVE HAZEL
I LOVE SOUL

2006-08-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

HEADACHE.
yes. for once its real this year.
HA!
i tossed in bed for 3 hours yesterday.
from 1am to3am.
crap.
cos i drank coffee for breakfast, milk tea for lunch and coffee for dinner.
yeah. i am mad.
thats why i was so high during superband.
i kept on dancing away...
before i forget.

SUPERBAND: SOUL

quite disspointed that they werent the winners.
but THEY WERE RUNNERS UP
THEIR DANCING IS SO GOOD PLS.
they have the SO ENERGY feel.HA!
called 8 times for them
more than renfred.
ALFRED IS SO CUTE.
me and my mum are crazy over the freds..HA!
they are so cute pls.
SOUL ROCKS MAN!!

didnt go church.
slept from 9 to 2pm...
i messed up my sleeping time again.
YEAH.
no more emo-ness in me i hope.

HAZEL i am going nuts

2006-08-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

DOREEN GOT A NEW INTEREST
hazel is all i need.
yesterday before i sleep, i was drawing.
today i woke up i looked for hazel, spent my whole morning on it.
drawing helps my whole world go round.
i found a new way to express my feelings within me once again.

i used to think only blogs and my diary are the only tools that help me express my burdens,worries in my life.
pinching, biting, spending money, eating like crazy, crying, writing letters could help relieving the pain within me.
but i realised that drawing expressed alot on how i view things now.
how i feel.
i guess my moody-ness and emo-ness have lead me to draw better than i ever thought.
after finishing my first drawing today, i realised that my drawing is emo as my person is.
sighx, whatever.
i finally knew what i was drawing.
i finally knew what my mind was thinking
i finally understood what my heart was feeling.
but i hope it wasnt too late to realise it.
my drawing --- very piccaso.
i like piccaso though..HA!
but i dont know how did i ever manage to draw like that?!
its like i just keep on drawing very random pictures around.
and when i begin to look at my picture with a much closer look, i saw images...
yeah.. you got to see it for yourself.
as for when will you get to see it, in school i guess.
i promise to show someone 1st before i show anyone other than my sister and mum.
yeah.
i will probably use it for my next blogskin..

i love hazel.
i feel so close and connected to her.
YES, its a her..
but the depressing thing after i finish one page of drawing, i think it look so UGLY.
yeah. i dont know why.
its like.. i could have done better but i already messed it up.
i feel that everytime when i wanna make it look better, it always look worse.
it applies the same to my life, whenever you think that by doing this you will make your life better.
but later, you see yourself so miserable cos you dont know what you did.

rean's red ear.
i wanna see rean once again.
the rean i always knew in my whole life.
i wanna see her back to her usual self again.
REAN! come back pls.

2006-08-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

I HATE MYSELF FOR ALWAYS DOING SO BADLY FOR THE SUBJECTS I AM SUPPOSE TO EXCEL IN.
SHYTE.
i dont assure any more nice happy entries coming from me at this point of time.
how can i even fail such a basic chinese paper?
my mum better not hear any of these.
she would probably chop my head off and stop me from speaking english at home.
i mean, its not to either just pass chinese or almost but barely past it.
I WANT MY A1.
it seem to be too far for me to reach since i am still stuck in my stupid D7
if my mum knows everything about my chinese in school, she will just start saying how our family are chinese educated and how we are all suppose to get distinction for chinese all the time and that we are such a disgrace since none of my slibings have gotta any A1s for chinese.
PLUS i am in a chinese church and i odd to know chinese better.
sighx, pressure and stress are starting to climb over my life.

SQUEAK SAID THAT I FEEL THINER.
YEAH!
HA!. cos she poke my shoulder today and she could feel my bone.
i mean, she always could but less flesh this time.
i was thinking being 40kg is good for my height right??

'i believe in you'.
so, who do i believe in this world?
i dont even believe myself let alone anyone else.

and jo says, no emo blog entries from do.
so is this emo or not.??
crap. everyone is starting to take note of my blog for being emo.
thats is quite a bad reputation right?
your blog getting read by others cos its emo...haix.
so pls dont come here too often when you are in good mood.
until this emo-ness have fade away.

DOREEN GET A CONFESSION TO MAKE!!!
i wanna tell those people that i really love them for who they are and that they have played a important role in my life.
i wanna take hold of this opportunity here before i dont have anymore.
1.SQUEAK
2.rachel
3.trina
4.lydia tan
5.raina
6.vera
7.faith
8.genia
9.angela
10.emma
11.joanne
12.elieen
13.sharon
14.mildred
15.huiyu
16.baoqi
17.isador
18.isabel
19.cassandra
20.hannah heng
21.patricia lobin
22.nanjie
23.gracelim
24.letitia
25.cheryl
26.dawn chik
27.jingshan
28.zhijing
29.jiaen
30.rachel khoo
31. rachel khoo(cousin)
32.charlene
33.shermain
34.teresa
35.bonnie
36.hwaimay
37.sam
38.amanda mak
39.amanda loh
40.magdalene
41.monica
42.juliana
43.rachel ong
44.tham
45.vitoria
46.jillian
47.selene
48.krystal
49.iris
50.tiffany
51.alicia
52.ally
53.vicky
54.
and many more that i cannot think at this point of time.
its not in order.
its just names that popped into my mind.
i wanna thank you for being joy into my life before and starting a friendship with me.
even though some of us may not be talking to each other now, but i am still happy that you were part of my memory.
yes. i thank GOD for you giving me history and nice memory which i can think about and laugh at now.
i am so thankful for meeting you in my life.
YES, THANK YOU:)

2006-08-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

HAIX.
i just post a happy entry.
like? i am just afraid that i will turn emo later.
HMM.

I JUST LOVE TO BE A FOOL IN CLASS AND CRAP LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS.
SO FUN.
i love school.
mummy say i ai yan.
guess so..HA!
literature seems to be quite fun now.
criticising all the weird english singers i never heard before and the songs that i may never hear again in my life cos it doesnt even interest me a little at all.
ANGELA TEO IS SUCH A RETARD.
JO SAYS SHE FEELS TALL just because i am sitting beside her.
I KNOW THAT.
so maybe i should feel short beside jo...
WHATEVER JOANNE LIM BOO BOO.

i cant wait for next week.
3 DAYs of HOLIDAY:)
JOANNE IS A RETARD AS WELL.

ok. i dont exactly feel like updating this entry but i will just post it since i really wanna to lighten up the mood on my blog.
as angela says so.

2006-08-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS
i am getting so ARGH about school now.
everyone is turning mad here.
i am going nuts over end of year.

PE was good thou.
even though i didnt even do PE, but its ok.

2006-08-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

miss the happy me?
i am happy infront of everyone in school
but my emo-ness is always in my house, in my mind.
in this corner of this room in my house in front of the computer, my emo place.
and so is my room and my bed, where my tears are most often seen
sighx.

its the point of time where i can give up everything i posess for everything i cant buy
friendships, experiences, relationships, love ..
chrisitianity, i want to be a faithful chritian who is not easily shaken by the thoughts and standards of this world.
im just timid to show my faith and start telling of his name, THATS ALL.
all i want is to tell you that there is a person always there for us and we really need him.
i want to save you.
i will regret my whole life if i didnt.
but as said, i am too timid and i dont wanna spoilt the friendship made.

will HE see the pain i am going through?
seeing the black and white of my lives, which is usually coloured with grey-ness.
can i ever see your face?
cos i really yearn for that day to come.
i wanna be close to you.
letting go of this world, holding on to you.

if during a religious war, a person asks you if you believe in christ. will you nod your head and proclaim that you are a child of GOD?
if that person took out a gun or knife to ask you to answer that question again, will your answer be the same and as determined as before?
you probably be shaken quite a bit and dont know how to answer.
YES OR NO.
LIE OR TRUTH.
you survive or not, depends on your answer.
i want to be the one that shouts the YES into that man's face.
everyone would be able to say YES now as the situation havent occured, this applies to me as well.
but if that really happens, what will my answer be?
i just wanna live this life for HIM and stand firm in my faith, DONT betray him for my life and comfort. but stand firm as i wanna spent my forever with him.
FATHER, help me.

i am quite postive that i would the few girls that would be questioned what subject i need to drop in order to get promoted to sec4.
or either ' doreen, you have to retain'.
the best thing is ' doreen, we cant accept you in this school any longer.'
woah.
i am so going to fail FLAT for Amaths, Emaths, Physics, Social Studies/History.
Thats 4 subs.
thats 50%.
i cant be scoring 100% for the rest right.
i am not confident in chinese as well.
i cant study too hard.
but i cant dont study
cos its always the case that i study too hard, and i fail like crap.
and i dont study as hard, and i pass.
I HATE IT. life is so unfair.
so am i suppose to study hard or just slack through the end of years?
i really wanna go sec 4 like everyone else.
start to think of it.
i am only confident in literature.
my past confidence in physics and chinese have led me down time and time.
physics? i have been passing by i failed the previous one.
ARGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the anger inside me cannot be subsided.
I HATE HER,doreen.

2006-07-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

what can i say?
i feel better after realising that i am a loser.
at least i am not that loserated to an extend of not realising i am one.
sighx.
why is there only trouble in this world?
it really seems to me that there is nothing good in this world to look out for.
look. WWIII is coming.
i know it will bound to come, i see it coming.
it would be a religious one i think
and i hope that i would able to stand up for my faith
thats all i ask for.

i really come to a point of time in life that i dont know what i am living for.
doing something for christ? perhaps.
showing love to people who i do really treasure? maybe
yearn for the day i meet HIM who is above and hug HIM really tight and tell him how i really do love HIM? better be..
for my future which i becoming clearer and clearer to me every single day? hope so

I DONT KNOW NUTS ABOUT THIS WORLD
everything is turning into a stranger to me.
including me.

2006-07-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

DOREEN IS FAILING AMATHS LIKE NO ONE's BUSINESS.
OR YOU CAN SAY THAT SHE IS FAILING IN SCHOOL LIKE CRAZY.
SHE THINKS SHE REALLY CANT MAKE IT TO SEC 4 NEXT YEAR.
I HATE DOREEN

2006-07-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

just did DrPhil test sent to me thru email.
HA! yeah. and here are the results.

Choose what you like and will do now, not in the past.
1. When do you feel at your best?
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
b) fairly fast with little steps
3. When you talk to people...
a) you stand with your arms folded
4. When relaxing, you sit with...
b) your legs crossed
5. When something really amuses you, you give...
a) a big appreciated laugh
6) When you go to a party or a social gathering, you...
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
7) When you are working, concentrating very hard, and you are interrupted, you...
b) feel extremely irritated
8) Which colours do you like most?
g) brown or gray
9) When you are in bed at night, and before those moments you sleep, you lie...
c) on your side, slightly curled
10) You often dream that you are ...
c) search for someone or something

POINTS: 40
RESULT:
31 to 40 points
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
sorry those peeps i send the email to.
i counted wrongly...yeah.

heritage tour is really such a waste of time.
its not that it was totally boring or something.
our tour guide suck..wasnt entertaining enough to keep us listening to him.
but at least i spent meaningful time with my friends(:
i hate it when we have to go school for such a short time not during school hours just to do such tours which dont exactly benefit us.

DONE WITH CHEM, EMATHS, ENGLISH & ~~PHYSICS~~
physics is so diffcult, so i will just skip that subject.
NERDOREEN ON HER WAY.

2006-07-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MGS
119th BIG BIRTHDAY.
though i am not a bery LOYAL mg dude, but i feel the happiness this year. i dont know why..HA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARON!!
i am so so so sorry dear that i forgot to bring your present. i was so engrossed in going school and get done with today.

I HATE RESPONSIBLITIES AND TRYING TO BE HOW EVERYONE ELSE WANTS TO BE.
STOP FORCING ME TO BE THAT PERFECT LITTLE GIRL THAT YOU WANT OK.
I GOT MY OWN RIGHTS.
IF I AM TOO NOISY FOR YOU, THEN TOO BAD.
NOW I REALLY FELT THAT STRONG PAST THAT IS HAUNTING ME AGAIN
I DONT WANNA FEEL THIS WAY
BUT TOO BAD FOR ME IF YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO TREAT ME THIS WAY AND MAKE ME FEEL AND THINK THIS WAY.
YOU THINK I LIKE IT?
I TOOK SO LONG TO WALK OUT OF THAT DARKNESS IN MY CHILDHOOD AND IT SEEMS THAT I AM REVISITING THAT PLACE AGAIN.
CAN I GET OUT?

sorry. something happened while typing this entry.
now, that is really scream-typing.
dont try too hard to understand it cos no one will.
only her and 3rd person:)
i am so glad i have at least 2 pple out there who knows me for who i am.
and hopefully, love me for who i am and not for the sake of loving me.

enough of being in this mood. CHANGE.
yep. back into my joyful happy day mood.
standing there like an idoit is quite alright for me.
so many things went thru my mind as i stood there in the parade ground waiting for the G.O.H to arrive.
the raindrops just fell on my face like that.
just like how it did when i was walking up the slope to school in the morning
now, i cant exactly remember what went thru my little mind.
we had a cake-bun thingy and pizza bread for our tea.
the cake-bun sucks.
pls dont ever try to out cake and bread together ever again.
its not nice.
its like trying to mix tea leaves into coke.
EEEEEEK!! totally gross-ness. i dont know how that example came about.
i was counting how many MGirls who grad last year went poly during the service.
8!! yeah. it seems that the number is increasing.
last time was like if you see one, that girl is a werido.
HERE I COME POLY LIFE(:

what else to blog?
i thought i had a lot to blog when i enter to my blogger account.
but ever since something happened when i was typing this entry, i have totally no mood.

MY CLIQUE IS SO DEAD.
I HATE MY CLIQUE(US).
i dont literally hate hate.
as in, i hate the attitude.
i dont wanna elaborate much here.
i am fine with everyone in the clique but we dont seem to be able to go out together.
as in, you all are really nice pple but we just dont clique.
i dont know how we manage to stay as a clique for 1 1/2 year.
but i seriously think we are dying off.
no one is bothered about anyone.
everyone just gotta talk behind pple's back.
sighx.
you know we can always go out and not spend money.
we could always play and chill out at places which are cheap and dont give this pressure for us to come together.
we can always just hang out at someone's place and dont go orchard so often.
money is always the issue that gives you the motivation or the want to go feeling.
thats why i dont see why we go out for a meal when everyone is going straight home after that.
its like just eating on the same table but conversations are between 2-3 pple.
then we split up.
its the same wherever we go.
some pple gotta leave early, some rather do other things..yeah.
everyone in our clique has different interests and shops for different things.
so why trying to force everyone to eat sweets when some rather eat chocolate, some rather buy watermelon and some just dont wanna waste energy on that sweet?
you get what i mean.
i know we alr reduced the times we meet as a clique.
but not all the time, everyone is willing to meet up.
no offence to anyone in our clique.
pin pointing no one.
RACHEL FAITH VERA RAINA GENIA TRINA
I LOVE YOU ALL.
BUT WE STILL GOT TO WORK ALL THESE OUT SOMEHOW.
so is life bettter without being in a clique?

I AM A DIET AND A SAVING SPREEM
***take note: not shopping spreem
i went to bed yesterday feeling so hungry and my gastric was acting up.
but i know once i sleep i wouldnt feel hungry.
ny bro told me that if i slept with a hungry stomach, i would wake up earlier to eat breakfast.
i didnt believe his rubbish at 1st.
but i did wake up at 6 today...which is so WEIRD
i usually wake up at 6.30
i had a packet of instant noodles for breakfast...so you now know i was really hungry.
SAVING SPREEM actually i dont know what i am saving for.
more stuff to buy? i dont know.
i dont think i would have the determination to save $1500 for drums..
its like...i can buy 500 watermelons...HA!

i really would like to do more scream-typing here.
yet i dont wanna spoil your mood.
IGNORE ME FOR ALL I CARE.
YOU GO YOUR WAY, I STAY WHERE I ALWAYS BEEN

2006-07-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

QUIZZES SQUEAK ASKED ME TO DO OUT OF MY BOREDOM
Find your Celestial Choir
Witty and inspiring, you live in the moment. You seem at most times to be a source of creative energy, almost tireless in your efforts when you are dedicated to a cause, and driving others occasionally even when they dont share your determination or enthusiasm.

You can be impatient with people who dont move or think as fast as you. If things dont go your way, you can become snappish and short, responding with less-than-friendly answers to the most inane of questions. If you cant find people who work well on your wavelength, you are much happier working alone

[wicked.alchemy choir info]
Ofanim resonate "Motion." Also called the "Wheels" of heaven, their forms are sleek and reflective, so that even standing still they seem to be constantly moving. They spend most of their time in spacial vacuums, and little in heaven or on earth, since they are the creatures that seem to 'make the universe spin'.

What High School Stereotype Are You?
You are an Outsider
The overwhelming levels of stupidity and pain around you have finally taken their toll on your will to live. You probably came from a dysfunctional family, in which you were mistreated, ignored, or misunderstood. Poor you.

Its really not your fault that you cant stand society. Life is cruel.

What type of Fae are you?
Changeling
You have a better grasp on reality than most people, either because of your experience or your insight. This makes you better capable of adapting to change or seeing other sides of an argument.

You're also known to have a wide roller-coaster of emotions, or slip easier that most people into depression. Socially, your reactions to situations might be as changing as your ability to adapt, which may leave other people at a loss for how to deal with you.

-Adaptable
-Insightful
-Creative
-Cynical
-Depressed
-Unstable

is this really me?

2006-07-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

NEW SECTION
WANT TO GOCLASSES FOR

PIANO[finish grade8]

SINGING[get a grade8?]

DANCING!!

DRUMS:)

BASIC GUITAR

BASIC KEYBOARD(i am not up to my standard yet)

VIOLIN<3>
LEARN KOREAN(i cannot speak korean though i can sing korean songs)

LEARN JAP(same for jap too)

i know i am sick.
want to learn so many instruments.
5 instruments.
once i recall what happened during obs.
cos i tried getting my instructor confused over if i am doreen or rachel, me and rachel changed name.
when i finally couldnt take it responding to the name rachel, i told him i am doreen.
he said my face looked more like i am called doreen than rachel.
he said doreen meant musical inclined which i never exactly knew.
thats right, i do expect alot from myself when it comes to music.
only recently, not in the past.
sorry worship comm, i expect alot and i will definately make sure that the band have sufficient practice before gb meeting.
make me the head of worship comm lar...HA!
oh ya. and he asked me if that interpretation of the name doreen is right with me.
i nodded.
he asked, so what instrument do you know how to play.
in choir, piano, keyboard, drums and a little of guitar.
he immediately responded ' you are those sick people who plays all instruments and do everything involving music.
sorry. i am like that.
i think all my money will go to music once i start working.
AND SAVE UP FOR MY SPORT CAR
but i guess the name doreen is smart in studies but just plain laziness.
i am lazy in studies cos i know i cannot go far with it.
I DOUBT I CAN MAKE IT TO A LAW FIRM WITH MY RUBBISH ENGLISH.
yeah, cos of me having a bad flare in english, i gave up being a lawyer since 13.

mr lim once mentioned that you need a degree or some cerfiticate to back you up if you wanna be a singer.
those words hit me so hard.
a degree? i am determine from that moment that i gotta make it to university before my career starts.
but i dont like being an 'old' singer.
as in, now most people turn singer at 20.
by the time after uni, i would by 23 -24.
isnt that the time to find a future hubby and settle down in life?
ok. I NEED GOD TO CLEARLY SHOW ME THE WAY ONCE AGAIN!!

sighx. wanna give up yet cannot.
SCHOOL IS BORING.
thats why everyone is {coughcough} falling sick and cannot go to school.
BOREDEM BRINGS SICKNESS.

E-LEARNING HW HERE I COME.
i got CHINESE PHYSICS left.
but chinese is damn alot.

waiting till 2.31pm for classmates to call me so i can ask who went to school.
HW HW HW!!
DOREEN IS A NERD!!
she wants to finish her e learning hw by wednesday.

2006-07-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

CHINESE HOMEWORK ARE SO IRRITATING!!
got loads of them for e learning week..arGhhhH.
OPEN DAY BETTER BE GOOD!! i got the best spot for watching sizzlers:)HA!

I AM IN VERA's HOUSE NOW WITH PET.
LUNCH WAS SO FILLING.
everyone can get fat eating in vera's hse.
no wonder vera is in this shape now.

I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH VERA TAN XIN YI
she made me post this.

2006-07-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

BAD
MOOD
i wanna run in the rain

2006-07-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

i decided to make points to blog before typing out my entry
if not i will start to drift off from whatever i wanna blog and end up, i need another entry.
yeah. and before i even start drifting away from my head, i am going to blog about:
-gb day, worship
-mum back from korea
-today in school
-etc, crap.

gb day
the day when us gb girls will stand out of the white school uniform crowd with out oh so nice gb uniform
actually i somehow like it.
but not the cap.
i dont want more pimples.
i have been getting pimple outbreak recently due to stress.
lucky for me, i only wore the gb uniform like for chapel which is 45mins and i changed out.
i was actually drumming in school shoes.
after sermon, i didnt have time to change back to shoes so i wore boots and drum.
i alr got a blister and the drumming make it worst.
SO I GOT TO CHANGE OUT:)
i havent done a SINGLE cent for my fortnight card.
oh.
worship, i was so glad it was a horror to me.
everything went on fine and i was so glad.
in the morning when we practice before chapel, my bass drum just came on moving forward.
i would like have to stop have way through my fast song to just push the drums back.
prila have to end up pushing it for me cos i cant just stop halfway as she was right in front of me on the guitar.
it was such an unsightly sight.
but end up, i was smart enough to repair that problem by PUTTING THE LEGS OF THE BASS DOWN AND NOT LET IT FLY AT THE SIDE.
chia added those stuff below those legs to prevent from moving too much.
SUCCESS!!
i didnt had to worry that my bass would go all the way out that my short leg cant reach it.
i was glad the drums sounded much better than the chapel's one.
i was so glad i had so many cymbals to choose from.
i was so glad that it was in the audi.
THANK YOU FATHER!:)
everything went on smoothly.
rachel said i didnt look nervous at all hitting those drums while stacey said that i looked like a robot.
ok. i dont know which one was accurate..
but i look not nervous yet too stiff, maybe
I LOVE DRUMS:)
DRUMMING IS IN MY BLOOD!!
i realised that i have been on the stage too often all of a sudden.
its just this year.
so is it good or not? someone answer me pls;)

mum back from korea
YEAH!! i got so many yummy goodies and I LOVE KOREA TO BITS
though i havent been there for my life.
my mum thinks that i am really nuts over korea...FINE I AM ABNORMAL.
she got my FAVOURITE JEJU CHOCOLATE!!
green tea jeju chocolate rocks!!
tell you how much i love it, everytime when i get those chocolates, i keep the box and cut them into nice pieces so i can paste them and start drooling over the pictures.
yeah, that bad.
i got nice chewy jelly, TONS OF SWEETS and a set of korea CUTLERIES(is this how to spell it?)
I LOVE KOREA!!! and there CULTURE!
why do korean use metal utensils? can someone explain? SQUEAK I NEED YOU TO ANSWER THIS!!
my mum is back.
good? bad?
good, i dont have to eat instant noodles when my maid dont know what to cook and i dont have to worry about not having enough ingredients at home for any meals. SAY BYE BYE TO LONIESS!
bad, my freedom being robbed away, cant watch the tv like no ones business, computer restriction, cant continue to be a naughty girl in school and give attitude to teachers anymore. i still do but not that badly since my mum is back and the teachers may call her up. but i already warned her many times that if a teacher calls to say that i got an attitude, dont freak out. i asked my mum how would she react.
' i would listen to the teacher'. will you scold me? 'wait for your teacher calls and i will decide'. i manage to persuade her not to:)

TODAY IN SCHOOL
practically slack day for everyone else who isnt that involved in the rehearsals and all.
but i was.
teachers didnt go into classes for lessons i think.
moreover, everything was happening outside my class.
I DIDNT GET TO WATCH DAZZLERS AND SIZZLERS!!
my regret for the day.
i must may sure i get to watch it on thursday rehearsals or on sat.
i love watching sizzlers(cheerleading) :)
what was my founder's day and open day rehearsals all about? STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDOIT.
practically something like that, plus i was in slippers.
i didnt know standing there, staring into thin air can be so tiring too.

ETC
stayed back after school for amaths remedial.
he should just come and tell us or left us a note that he wouldnt come.
wasted my whole afternoon in school.
do you know how damn tired i am.
i went to pick my mum in the airport yesterday, flight delayed so i came home even later than expected.
but luckly emma, mil and squeak were there.
i had a fruitful time talking to squeak and emma as mil sleeps.
class shirt class jacket coming up.
ROCKS!
emma want a band in our class.
ROCK ROCKS!!
emma, guitar
mil, bass
sharon, keyboardist(?? i didnt know she could play the keyboard)
me, drums
ON THE HUNT FOR SINGERS
dont point fingers at me thought i love to sing.
have you ever seen a worship leader drumming and singing at the same time?

JUST FOR LAUGHTERS!
yesterday went to faith's hse with zhijing after school.
jing was just browsing the inbox of my handphone and she happen to see someone named 'SQUEAK' on my phone.
she insisted that i was seeing someone without informing her.
she asked who squeak was, she wanted to know badly and the only answer she would wanna accept is a guy's name.
i said it was her, then she asked faith.
faith had to sabo me saying that SQUEAK is my darling.
she is, but she is not my boyfriend. SHE IS NOT EVEN A GUY!!
yeah, now you know how rumors can be made up without any truth.
just a nicename, an assumption and i got a boyfriend.
just to SHOUTOUT to everyone out there, pls dont believe in rumors and PLS DONT ASSUME WHAT YOU HEAR.
ask the person and get everything sort out.
jing, I GOT NO BOYFRIEND AND I AM STILL SINGLE YAR?!

i am all weary and worn out.
dont know how i am going to face a whole new day tmr.
i can get the beat off my head, I WANT MORE GB DAY!!

2006-07-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

TOTALLY BORED OUT AT HOME
i finish studing for remainder theorm.
its diffcult to learn a topic by yourself ya know.
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MATHS
additional maths makes it worst.
hope everything turns out well tmr.
actually i am not even sure if i am taking my test tmr or tuesday...yeah

I JUST REALISED THAT DOREEN SOON IS MISSING EMATHS AND AMATHS FOR 2 DAYS STRAIGHT
just to piss those people who dont join GB off.
on monday, i miss a maths and emaths.
on tuesdays, i miss history, physics, amaths, emaths, chemlab.
everyone will miss history, physics, amaths on that day too.
but i get to miss the most miserable CHEM LAB!!
now, i really have no regrets going GB:)
only sitting in for 15mins for chem and chinese on tuesday:)
LOVE IT!

GOTTA TALK TO RUTH TODAY
we havent talked for a while.
she had her tests and i had my routine school life in singapore which is definately more stressing out compared to shanghai
but thinking that she takes triple sciences,FULL history/lit/geog, i feel so much luckier staying here:)

before i forget, HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY RAINA-NA!!
yep. she is really A GOOD SHOPPER.
love my studs
i got sharon's present...await for july 25..

CANT WAIT FOR TMR!!
going to play and hit those drums for chapel.
i hope i dont make too obivous mistakes that will make me too embarrassed to continue playing the drums for the next song or walk off the stage.
hope that i wouldnt hit the drums so hard that they just drop on the ground, or my sticks flying away from my 'will be sweaty' hands due to nervousness or i just fall off the chair when drumming.

I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO DRUM WITH HEELS AND SKIRT
and in gb uniform.
i will look so eeek as a drummer...
as in unprofessional, cos the gb uniform is all about being serious and drill and discipline.
and i am like trying to be punk on drums will the gb uniform.
but hope everything turn out will with my boots...sighx.

i am TOO addicted to drums...seriously.
whenever i hear a song which the drumsbeat is wacky that makes me wanna hit those drums, i will run to my room to take the drumsticks and start playing it for like 30 mins straight...yeah
i really wanna get my own DRUM SET and get my jamming room done...
as in, i will ask my dad again about the jamming room.
now the only thing that is lack from my family's jamming room is THAT SET OF DRUMS!!
i remember my mum mentioning it to me that she would wanna learn drums when i said i wanted a set of drums ages ago and she didnt mind paying for the drums.
but i found out that she will pay if i paid for 1/2 the price of the drums
i need $300 bucks NOW!!
actually i rather buy the drums set with my own money so no one can touch it.
its hard to keep our drums in good condition cos i am pretty sure even before i get sick of my drums, my da kor will just spoil it and there goes my savings.
he will make all those dents which i will start screaming at him and he will just continue drumming..
a guitar is much easier to keep other people off compared to drums.
look, if my cousins/friends comes to my house and enters my jamming room/my room, they will go 'WOW DOREEN YOU GOT A DRUM SET!!' and they sit on the chair and start to anyhow hit the drums.
even if i take the drumsticks away, they will use their hands, or even take my pens and turn them into sticks..
and i just realised that my sister wouldnt give the drums a rest..
now, i would have to consider locking up my room and make sure no one touches my drums if i am going to buy them.
OK. DOREEN IS ON HER SAVING DEAL TILL SHE GETS HER DRUMS SO PLS DONT GO SHOPPING WITH HER.
DRUMS 1st ABOVE THE WHOLE SHOPPING LIST.
that includes MY MP3
hack. i dont need a MP3, i dont even need money to upgrade my phone since i can survive with no hp days in the past.
I JUST NEED DRUMS!!
anybody would like to sponsor this poor little girl a set or drums or even JUST THE STICKS?
yeah, believe it or not. I DONT EVEN HAVE THE CHEAPEST THING IN A DRUM SET, THE STICKS!!

last issue to make note to everyone.
ANYONE WHO NEED TUTION FOR MATHS(any) OR SCIENCE(any), PLS TELL ME via call,msn,sms,email OR TAG ME!!
its only for secondary students.
price is lower sec $20, upper sec $25
yeah.
TAKE NOTE: DOREEN IS NOT THE ONE GIVING THE TUTION SO DONT WORRY ABOUT FAILING YOUR TESTS.
cos i do need tution myself as well.
venue will be reviewed once you tell me that you are interested.
TO CHURCHIES: ITS BEN's TUTION BY THE WAY.
i am just the middle dude..
I NEED STUDENTS BY WEDNESDAY

2006-07-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY RAINA!!!
yeah.
went out with rachel and faith to celebrate raina's birthday.
had KFC at taka for lunch
chicken there is really fattening and oily.
but i luckly i only eat fastfood once in a blue moon.
HA!
yeah. i am CONFIDENT that i can lose that weight from those chickens soon enough
with the help of OTO TRIMAX!!
ha! mrs sito got a shock when she heard that i uses it:)
at least i am eating proper meals.
oh ya. my mum thinks i eat too little and she is making me eat more...
anyways, then sang nana a birthday song and went to cinelesiure to play ARCADE
I MUST IMPROVE IN CAR DRVING SINCE I WANNA GET MY LICENSE DESPERATELY
yeah. why am i always the last??
we walked around after 2 game of car racing and rachel bought like 4 pair of earrings and faith one.
rachel and faith decided to study for their test next week.
so me and raina went to heeren.
SHOPPING WITH RAINA IS SO LOVELY<3
she is such a good shopper:)
we walked the whole heeren in 2 hours cos SOMEONE WAS RUSHING TO CHURCH AND ABANDONED ME!!
yeah. but we were googoo-gagaing at all those lovely earrings.
i cant believe she actually spent $40 on earrings
thats craziness but, I AM HAPPY WITH MY EARRINGS:)
i really wanted to get identical earrings with raina, WE MUST GO OUT MORE OFTEN!!
butterflies, i am getting nuts.
WARNING: IF YOU GO OUT WITH RAINA, PLS REMEMBER TO BRING MORE MONEY OUT OF THE HOUSE.
yeah. HA!

raina brighten up my whole day.
thank you so much.
the bright star in my thick cloud dark night sky.
at least i see some hope in me.

2006-07-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

for once i was late for cell
for once squeak waited for me
for once i didnt have to wait for squeak
for once i was late for cell
for once i wasnt early for cell
for once i didnt listen so hard in class
for once i sat in the back of the class for almost for the whole day
for once i cared so much about her
for once i saw her tears
for once i played the drums with confidence
for once i think i will be able to make it as a drummer
for once i thought that i would do that badly on the drums for gb day
for once i am looking forward to gb day
for once i had toasted cheese hotdogs for breakfast
for once i woke up without my alarm and still woke up relatively early
for once i thought i am going to fail my maths test one week before the test
for once i felt like crying for you
for once i wanna punch the wall so badly
for once i feel like cutting myself
for once i remembered that GOD dont want to hurt myself
for once i saw all my hurt in my day
for once i saw what life is all about, suffering cos good things never repeats and bad things will. like what lao shi said
for once i thought that i was really studious
for once i knew that everyone needed encouragement, including me
for once i thought that i shouldnt go on my slimming diet anymore. actually its not really a diet lar.
for once i thought that responsibilities are starting to pile up on me
for once i thought that i will explode anytime
for once i realised that i am also lonely
for once i realised that i couldnt talk to someone about everything that is bothering me but GOD cos he understands me the best
for once i thought of not trying to break school rules
for once i thought that i will die before o levels comes
for once i thought i wouldnt be able to make it to sec 4 even if i retain next year
for once i got my handphone changed
for once i am afraid everything in life
for once i just realised that i need to treasure every single minute or even second with my friends cos you dont know what is installed for you in the next minute or second.
for once i dont wanna leave this world with regrets, leave mgs with regrets
for once i really feel like changing church
for once i thought that no one cared about my existence
for once i thought like just falling flat on my face and end my whole life
for once i know that i need to pray like never before
for once i realised that i need to trust and give everything to the lord
for once i reflected about laoshi scolded us for 45 mins
for once i realised that i am not that bad as i thought
for once i thought that i am not good as everyone thought i was
for once i know that i must do everything to complete my dream
for once i feel like singing out loud
for once i realised that i am a dumbie who cant do anything to make someone feel better
for once i realised that even thought i crap alot of jokes and lame stuff, people still do get offended with my words
for once i realised that i do act and talk differnetly in front of everyone
for once i realised that i wanted to be original and creative in everything i do and wear
for once i thought that looks didnt really matter anymore, its the heart
for once everyone thought i was a studious, nice, lovely, sweet girl but i dissapointed you all, i am totally not
for once i dont wanna change myself and fit into any clique or group. i just wanted to be myself and if you dont like it, too bad.
for once i thought that life isnt that important
for once i thought no matter what you do in life, it will never be beautiful
for once i thought that i needed to get a degree and a master before pursuing my dreams
for once i thought that i needed to love you. you refering to the YOU who are reading this entry
for once i thought that it was time for me to return to the FATHER cos i have been a nuaghty girl

for once i thought so many things in 24hours
for once i thought i had to face reality big time
for once i realised that i am just running away to everything
for once i must really say I HATE DOREEN SOON
for once i agree that ITS THE END OF THAT GIRL
for once i totally agree that you should leave me alone in my dark corner where only i stand crying.
for once i thought that my post is really long and wordy
for once i am going to post such an entry
for once i leaving here all dissapointed about my life

2006-07-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

I CANT READ AH LIAN LANGUAGE.
yeah.
jo was trying to be so lian on her entry.
HA!

SCHOOL TODAY, FUN!!
i got to eat FLORIDA's NATURAL nuggets,ORANGE in class with permission granted by mrs choo.
yeah.
$2.50 WORTH IT!!

i really dont know what to blog.
but i dont know what to do since i have totally no interest in the literature project we are doing.
cos i know nuts about english songs.
even if i knew some, they are just not needed in this project/assignment
i only know love sad songs.
we need life songs here.
so totally off.

i think lao shi is really nice.
though she often gives us lectures and scolding like for a whole 45 mins.
yeah.
i know its for our good.
i really hope i can score well in chinese.
cos that seem to be the next subject i have to confident with in my o levels next year with literature and physics, maybe emaths.
i think i should start studying for my end of years.
i have been slacking so much for history and ss
i so think i will be failing straight F9 for both of them and my mum will come along scolding me and saying how i should have taken geog and ss instead.
i am regretful sometimes that i took this combination.
but everything is in the lord's hand.
so no worries.

COUNT DOWN: 3 more days to my mum returns from korea
the day when i wouldnt feel bored at home.
yesterday, i was really slacking like siao at home.
i watched stained glass the whole afternoon.
got a little bored of it cos there was no one around, so decided that i would watch TV programme.
taiwan show, ruien's show.
i still sense this emptiness within me.
my sis is in my aunt's place.
my dad working.
both bro in there room.
maid doing chores.
i was all by myself, totally bored to death.
my computer was on password. so i cant get into it.

i dont know if i can still accept me for who i am.
dont wanna be a emo kid no more.

2006-07-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

i am starting to find that she annoys me.
i dont know why.
its just like, one truth and the whole friendship is spoilt
how can things just come and go in a flash?
everything seems so weird between us now.
crap i just realised that i am making alot of typo error in this post.
its just like humans so close yet so far inside.
i guess finding out everything that she thinks i havent or will never makes me dont feel like being so close anymore
i dont wanna get hurt
i dont wanna feel that betrayed feeling inside me agina and again.
who likes being betrayed, hated and back stabbed?
i decided to close those doors that i once trusted you with.
i dont wanna get stabbed again by you
i dont know if to confront and just get everything off my heart.
but i know things aint as easy as it seems in life.
everything is just unfair and unsure.
i am not able to face you with that same attitude i used to have.
i am just not able to trust you anymore.

you may not be able to feel how i am feeling now.
you have just hurt me so many times that i choose to forgive you again and again.
but now, i learnt my lesson.
i will not trust you any longer

2006-07-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

BOO!
i'm here. ok whatever doreen. i think i am just annoying.
my mum left for korea the day berfore yesterday which is also a monday.
yeah. somehow i just feel that more freedom is franted to me cos my mum is not here for the time being to watch over my every move and my dad only comes home at 9 or later.
yeah. i can watch and rush through my korean drama and borrow others to watch:)
green forest, my home
Full House
chang jin
~~top of the forbidden city~~ i dont know if i should watch it

in school(literature lesson) now.
suppose to do some lyrics thingy now.
but it doesnt seem that anyone is doing it.
cos we got all the way to friday.

PE TODAY WAS SUPER FUN!!
i sprained my right thumb from catching emma throw and she hit the ball SMACK on my left eye.
i am suffering from 3 scratches from the impact of the ball to hitting my specs to my skin.
i pulled out the skin hanging there and the but got bigger.
THANKS DOREEN!

o level spa yesterday was so lousy.
i read the question wrongly, misinterpret it and end up doing the wrong thing.
THANKS TO DOREEN SOON ONCE AGAIN.
cant believe i am actually that dumb and blur to not notice that it was suppose to discharge the pink and not turn the solution to pink.
IDOIT
yeah. i know i am one.

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT ANGELA TEO'S BLOGNAME IS FUNNY BUNNY!!!
how lame.

worship practice yesterday was darn GOOD:)
SHARON SAYS HI <3
yeah. that was sharon.
back to where i was, jemma came down to coach us.
she taught me lots of stuff on drums.
SO COOL
i am so excited for this coming monday.

gottat go now :P
angela sucks.

2006-07-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

GERMANY WON 3RD!!
ITALY WON 1ST:)
oh. i am not a fan of italy.
just that i supported italy after finding out that so many people wanted france to win.
its like the WHOLE WORLD support france.
so i decided to support italy.
and they won:)

CHEMISTRY IS SUCH A HORRID SUBJECT COS IT AINT NICE.
being determine to score well for a subject or to love a subject that will make you study for it for your tests and examnations or to even listen in class, you MUST HAVE A NICE TEACHER WHO CAN TEACH AND WNTS TO TEACH YOU!!!
yeah. got what i mean?

CHEMISTRY - horror of your life/:
[in school(english) now]

2006-07-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

i thank isador for getting me such a lovely lollipop from her malaysia trip for me.
and a lovely footprint keychain that have my name on it PLUS its BLUE:)
THANK YOU!!
the lolly is bigger than my palm.
LOVE IT!!

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH SANGEE
dont watch high school musical.
its not that its not good, its actually quite good.
but the SONG GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
i like the basketball dance and song part.
the leading male actor cant sing.
but he sang best for the basketball part.
the show was really meaningful.
some people just liked the show for the dances and songs.
i did enjoy that too.
but its the meaning behind everything that set me thinking.
many people seem to didnt see that point.
i must break free from what everyone thinks i am and do what my heart thinks
that is that same to follow my heart.. and not my head

i think i got a throat infection cos my throat hurts like crazy but my voice is alright..
CRAP!!
i cant sing now..
just kill me if i cant sing.

2006-07-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

<--- that girl there.
its BOA ok. yeah.
i know lots of people have bad impression about her.
but trust me, she is GOOD.
people thought that it was me with makeup on.
erm...EHEM.
just to tell you.
DOREEN DONT KNOW HOW TO PUT ON MAKEUP.
only lipgloss and balm for me:)

emaths test was alright but who really cares.
flunk it for all i care, cos i really dont give a damn about schooling now.

i attitude is starting to surface within me and many can see it now.
is it just me or that everyone feels that way?
sorry, emo people just gotta show attitude.
i am not emo.
just that no one knows..yeah
thoughts have been running through my mind so quickly that i cant exactly remember what i was thinking about.
have you seen the worst out of me?
bet you havent cos i dont even know when is the worst of me.
just now? now? later? always?
not that i dont wanna help no more, its just that i help too much and gain not even a smile on your face. thats why i am sick of it.
i cant force you to let me help you since you are not even helping yourself.
hurt myself or not?
i still am searching for an answer.
i know the one above will be hurt in either way.
hurt physically?
hurt emotionally?
hurt spiritually?
only he can give and take away.
but why am i full of hurt when i cant even explain why i am suffering?
or is it just an illusion?
illusionial feeling?
you must be joking.

TO THAT GIRL:
we are usually little in words.
just feeling each other's presence.
but i know that we know each other well enough that we dont have to say it out.
or is it just my wishful thinking again?
i know that i need to daydream at times and just feel the presence.
it like, i have already known you for forever.
that day was like i known you for life

a girl with attitude problem
pls dont come near.

2006-07-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

after school, me and squeak went out.
not exactly actually.
we were thinking of all sorts of ways to waste time, cos we didnt wanna go home so early and school ended at 2 today.
so,
we walked all the way to KAP to just go window shop at colds storage.
yeah.
and we agreed that we GOT TO BUY SOMETHING
after a long walk in the supermart, we got 100gs of hotdogs which was cold, but cooked
irony. cold hot dogs..arent they already hot??
ok. i am talking rubbish again.
sorry, i forgot to take my 'MADDNESS IN CONTROL' medicine.
as said, i am from IMH:)
ok. i am so proud of that.
drifting away, anyway but to the point. KAP.
then i was thinking of walking all the way home but it would be madness.
squeak suggested to walk all the way to the colds storage at my place and buy something over here instead..
HA!
we abandoned both stupid ideas and i suggested that we will go the busstop and wait and only board the 5 bus we could take home.
but squeak wanted to take the nice, empty 67 which was the 2 bus then..
after i alighted from the bus, i went to colds storage at my place to window shop.
was waiting for my mum. yeah.
THE HOT DOGS ARE SO TEMPTING.
i wanted to buy another 100g for myself.
but, no.
doreen dont wanna get fat after losing 2 kg:)

emaths tmr.
i am getting mad.
thats it.
I HATE MATHS!!!
I HATE MATHS!!!
I HATE MATHS!!!
feel the hate for maths within me?
that applys to both E A maths.
shit. crap. damn it.

dont show me that attitude though i show it to you.
once my bad impression is on you, its going to take forever to go off.
this is going to THAT SHOLE!!
SHOLE?? ask me pls. i dont want the whole world to know.
competitive mind set. YOU SUCK.

if you really dont wanna teach me, just tell me and i will get my face off your wind screen and rear mirror

2006-07-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

MY SECRET ADMIRER GAVE ME A BOX OF LOVE COOKIES!!
i love it.
thanks alot.

people asked me where i got my cookies from.
'From my secret admirer'
oh. SQUEAK baked you cookies?
HA!
the whole world thinks that squeak is the one who gave me the love cookies.
i dont mind receiving one box of cookies from her, but its not her:)
excuse me, i got a lot of secret admirers around ok.
and squeak is not only the one.
some thought it was rachel..HA!
my mum was so happy when she saw the cookies:)

gave my 3 darling seniors from my GB squad
VAL MEIJIN HANNAH
-a packet of gummy worms
-a box of cookies
WILL MISS YOU GUYS!
study hard.
will write a letter for you all sooner or later:)

school was ok today.
today's time flew past so past i could hardly breathe.
actually, thats nonsense.
how can i ever not breathe when boring school hours fly past like mad??
but it was a hectic and full of PRESSURE day.
had a test on PRESSURE for physics
then a chinese book test.
CHINESE CAN KILL.
i realise that i dont love chinese as much as i used to.
maybe cos i have been failing like crazy cos my teacher is so strict in the marking.
my mum nags.

worship prac was fun.
DRUMS MAKE YOU HIGH!
after i played it, i was getting really cranky.
yeah.
at least i found more joy playing the drums than those keys on that black and white instrument which bring total no life.
but i do miss going for piano lesson somehow and learning new classical pieces.
think about it, i cant even read notes now:(

my date with SQUEAK is coming once again:)
this friday over at HER house
you wouldnt wanna know what we will be doing cos you will just get SO jealous:)

haix. what to say.
i didnt expect you to end up like that.
just open up and pour your sorrows on me.
i will be able to lift up that burden with you, hopefully.
at least it wouldnt be so heavy on you.
friends for 7 yrs.
can you trust me?

TO THAT GIRL:
can i just give up everything i have and live the life i wanna live?
i dont wanna live life with such restrictions.
i ask you not to hurt yourself and instead pour everything on me.
but that doesnt mean i wouldnt hurt myself.
it hurts me to see you getting hurt, but i hope you will not see the hurt in me.
the hurt that hopefully will not surface out to you.

squeak, are you there?

2006-07-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

went to bon's party yesterday evening.
i was shocked when i heard it was tommie's birthday too!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMIE:)
belated i mean..cos i am 24 hrs late:)

YESTERDAY
met baoqi, huiyu, jinwei, sarah at ngee ann poly.
i went to the busstop thou.
so many thoughts went thru my head then.
what will i be like if i study here in 2 years time?
what will i study?
all the poly life came to my head.
then baoqi called me and told me that they are at the traffic light which is almost 2 busstops away.
i WALKED ALL THE WAY DOWN.
luckly it was a down slope:)
we went town to get bon and tommie's present
reached town at like 6 and we reached bon's place at like 9.
yeah.
thats was how long the shopping for present took.
we cabbed to bon's place.
as there was 5 pple in the cab, and i was the only sec school student PLUS the smallest size there, i had to be under those shopping bags.
yeah. cos the uncle said only 4 pple to the cab and if we insist on 5, one of us must hide ourself or keep our head low.
fine, i was the one..
but it was a short journey thou, so it was ALRIGHT:)

dakor sprained his right ankle.
so we went home earlier.
EVERYONE IS EITHER SICK OR INJURIED IN MY FAMILY
why??

somehow i wish and dont wish that i would be the next one.
cos... ... .. . . . .
I DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL BUT I WANNA SEE MY FRIENDS!!!
thats how much i love you pple out there:)

i FINALLY got to eat TP ban mian today!!
ROCKS!!

2006-07-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

WON 3rd for CHINESE SINGING COMPETITION!!
i am so happy.
would like to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who made this possible:)
havent got my prize thou..
but WHO CARES!!:)

SQUEAK, i want another CHINESE singing competition!
so i can teach you more chinese songs:)

RACHEL SAID THAT BOA SONGS ARE NICE
boa can sing ok..

i am been slacking so much since school reopened.
i should pull my socks up and start pushing my specs up and be A NERD..ha!

I MOTIVATED SQUEAK TO STUDY AND LISTEN IN CLASS NOW
i am so happy:)
and my attitude towards teachers in school are just going down the drain.
its getting really bad.
those teachers i used to give lots of respect to are all fading away.
guess i just hate MATHS AND SCIENCE
but still love LIT to bits..
never regretted being a full lit student:)

yesterday was so FUN!
went to school
got my award for chinese singing competition[joanne was in my group thats why my name wasnt announce]
slacked thru all lessons
went for gb
SEC4 FAREWELL[will miss you sec 4 dudes out there:/]
meet up with squeak to go home together.
bath and went to squeak's busstop
went cg with squeak
meet crazy emma at cg and stepho
more open in cell now.
cell is so FUN
went home with squeak.

i am like so close to squeak now
like almost unseparatable.
meet rachel at the busstop yesterday.
we didnt plan too.
just saw her there..:)

GB,
WORSHIP COMM CHAIRMAN
feel so pressurising.
i will do my everything to make worship come alive once again in gb
like how it used to be in the past
how everyone look forward to worship...

SHAWN IS SO CUTE IN SPECS!!!
ok that is really random.
every since i saw a picture of him in specs, tie and those office dressing, i think he is SO CUTE!!
actually, i always thought that he was cute since he acted in i not stupid 2.
just that i didnt bother finding out what his name was..:)

I AGREE WITH LAO SHI THAT FRIENDSHIP REALLY NEEDS TO GO THRU FIGHTS AND STUFF.
just yesterday, i apologised to her twice.
for being so irrtating typing something on blog post and tore her lyrics paper into half in the bus..
cos i acutally dropped it at the bus door
and when the uncle open the door, the paper got stuck and i just pull so it became into 2 parts.
one on my hand, the other still in the bus.
i thought she would get really angry.
what she said was true, everyone needs a second chance.
thanks dear:)

PLAYING DRUMS FOR GB DAY
hope i can learn all my drum beats on my own by then.
THANK YOU JASPER for going to lend me his drum books.

so many tests next week.
chinese reading book test, emaths and physics.
SAVE ME!!
is that my youth day present??
whatever..

TO THAT GIRL
what will happen if one day you just walk out of my life?
you already walked into almost every part of my life and if you were to leave,
i dont know what i will do.
i know that is no such thing as FRIENDS FOREVER
i cannot be so naive to believe that there is.
i am all grown up.

TO THAT PERSON
slowly, i feel that you are already walking out of my life.
maybe you never ever walked into my life.
it was just my own wishful thinking
maybe the feelings i experience in the past were all just lies to myself.
i know that i dont need you.

going for bon's party tonight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR!!

2006-06-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

LIAN AI DA REN
DOREEN:BOY
ANGELA:GIRL
JO AND SQUEAK:BACK UP

DOREEN: green shirt
black outer guy shirt
baggy jeans
leather black shoes
I DID IT:)
smiles to me:)
yeah. i cant believe that i actually REMEMBERED all my lyrics.
CHINESE SINGING COMPETITION wasnt that bad after all:)
a heavy burden lifted from me at least.

thankyou note to:
RACHEL, for the encouragement and flowers
FAITH, for the encouragement and flowers
GENIA, for the encouragement and flowers
ER KOR!! for lending me his black top which i took so long to beg him for it
DA KOR!! for leanding me the leather black shoes. actually i didnt even ask him for permission. just stolen it.. but still THANK YOU:)

JOANNE, ANGELA, SQUEAK DARLING:)
thanks for making all these possible.
if today did screw up, i will hate myself for the rest of my life and never go on stage and sing ever again..but IT DIDNT:)
speaking the truth, this competition for myself but not to the extent of buying a brand new leather shoe:)
at least now i can daring tell myself that i can achieve all these and my dream is not plainly just a dream that i cannot achieve:)

SORRY-s to:
SQUEAK: i didnt mean to pull you up on stage and sing chinese song with me. thou you didnt didnt wanna go on stage, but i am still really glad you still learn a brand new chinese song that you can sing now. i am really sorry if the song is still stuck in your head. you can ask me to teach you another chinese song:)
LYDIA TAN:dear, i am so sorry that you cant see the performance. i am still [really] feeling very guilty about it. i should have just sew angela's mouth up and ask her not to say your name for the translating competition.. I PROMISE I WILL SING ANY SONG YOU WANT ME TO SING TO YOU!! even though i know that cant make up to the loss of not watching the performance, that is the best i can do...okay?

feeling weird apologising to 2 lydia-s in a row.HA!
i still feel so stressed up even after the burden is off my shoulders.
i got to study A maths test tmr and i dont even got any clue what on earth are they testing..
i still got E maths hw...SIGHX!!

i realised that i didnt complete my june hols plan.

THINGS TO DO DURING JUNE HOLS

~~OBS~~

~~intercamp~~

~~class party~~

~~shopping with cousins~~

~~stayover at granny/cousins' hse~~

~~worship practice 8 june~~

~~church camp 19-22 june~~

~~agm handover meeting 19 june~~

~~date with huiyu~~

~~cg every friday at barker methodist~~

~~caps ball at toa payoh at sats~~

~~date with squeak:) 9 june~~

all my homework(~~chi~~,e maths,a maths,~~heymaths~~,chem)<br>
catch up with my work in school

date with US to SENTOSA 15 june

~~chalet with sunday school[sec3+4] 15-16june~~

look. plus i didnt shop enough
havent watch SHE's THE MAN, JUST MY LUCK, RUNAWAY VACATION
can someone pls go with me to catch all these movie???
i know the whole world alr watched she's the man w/o me...
WE MUST GO TO SENTOSA TOGETHER CLIQUE:)
AND KBOX/PARTY WORLD:)

watched all jolin's new MVs yesterday.
i really feel like dancing.
ANYONE KEEN IN TAKING DANCING COURSES WITH ME???
i wanna learn pop dance badly..

that day i saw this course that people can attend before becoming singers.
they teach you how to sing and dance.
maybe i should go there for my dance and singing classes then:)
oh. and they also tell you what are the responsibilties as an celebrity and all..
maybe its really a good course for me.
a new activity up for my post o level activities..
thou i only take my Os next year..HA!

your faithfulness always follows me.
i am so glad you made everything straight and possible for me.
is this the route i am suppose to take?
show me your way cos i wanna live a life with you in it.
what to do in the future?
guide me.

2006-06-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

last and this week, received 3 belated prezzie:)
a skirt
a shirt
and a bead bag for my phone..its so CUTE:)

so excited and nervous for tomorrow
not only cos school is reopening and i havent done any hw,
its cos of the chinese week thingy tmr.
heard that we are having chapel in chinese... CANT WAIT:)
it will be such a pleasure hearing MGirls singing in chinese thou everyone hates it
CHINESE SINGING COMPETITION:GROUP
yeah.. i am in it.
with angela, joanne, emma and squeak.
26 june is here at last.
but somehow i wish it would never come.
i am so nervous.
but i am so glad that people in my clique do anticipate my performance:)
you guys are so sweet!
ESPECIALLY EUGENIA KEK!!!
my loyal fan:)
she called me specially to ask me what time is the competition starting and ending.
hope she didnt really go and do boards for me.
i will be so embarrassed..
FAITH tag was nice and encouraging enough for me.
enough to push me up the stage and sing my best:)
thanks:)
TRINA asking me how long my song will be..

i am so excited over my dressing tmr:)
sighx..
i hope the rap part of the song will turn out good.
hope i will remember the lyrics and be brave enough on stage
i have stage fright...actually quite bad stage fright.
and i am not going to only sing, rap as well..
hope GOD will just take everything away tmr and i will present my best.

i hope my voice will turn out well.
cos i am having quite a bad sore throat now..
i am so scared that i will ruin everything tmr...
I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT PPLE!!!

2006-06-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

i thought that i already abandon the SLEEPING PRO title since now i am able to wake up at 7/8 even when i sleep at 12/1
but i think its IN THE BLOOD
the day after camp, i slept for a 13 hrs without interruption.
today, 12 hours..
if i am going to comtinue like that, i am bound to sleep during class.
can i just run away and not go school?
how i wish. but this will never come true.
even if my dad was the MOE.
sighx people.

went squeak's place today for the chinese singing thingy.
i so think we are going to screw everything up
and i really dont feel like going to school on monday for the competition after all.
i dont even want anyone to appear there.
at least not so embarrassed even if everything goes really awful.
I STILL SERIOUSLY DONT THINK WE SHOULD DO LIAN AI DA REN
i rather a song from bands and stuff
but SHE songs are really diffcult to sing i know..
i dont even know how i am going to act like a guy when i dont even look like one??
but i still anticipate for everything to happen:)
soon enough, jo and angela leave for JJlin's concert and dont know where.
left me and squeak all there by ourselves, our moment together:)
then SQUEAK started to read me 2 pages long letter i wrote/typed this morning.
she took like almost 3 mins and she is done.
WHY DID YOU CALL YOURSELF THE FISHBALL? squeak asked.
i dont know.
to me, only fishball,BLUE and watermelon is the close-est thing i would call myself.
we had out private talk all the way until 5:)
almost 2 hours of peace from everything in the world.

i miss church camp
i miss having breakfast with everyone and hit yian ping
then tease huiyu
have retarded catfights with bonnie.
talking about how niunai can get with joanne
doing the retard clappings with bao gang
and LAUGHING at chaoyi's weirdness.

i still miss obs
kayaking like you never get to see the end line.
eating the same food forever
get to see salty sandy watermelon at the beach and get so pissed off at whoever that abandon that DARLING watermelon
PLUS I CAN GET TO SEE RACHEL EVERYDAY!!
start complaining with her and start talking about all the yummy food.
then we will start thinking of ways to not do an activity
then comes lydiaTAN WHO KEEP ON SAYING HOW FAT SHE IS WHEN SHE IS ONLY 39 KG and how ugly her tan is which made her look more like a normal person
MILDRED will start acting mad and gets madly in love with ME:)
and cassandra[zhou jie] will start limping around and go siao with me with the zhou jie zhou mei rap.
not too far away, we can see davina giving me the werid stares...she will thinking how she doesnt wanna get near doreen at all.
will be able to find lydia agreeing with her.
then SQUEAK comes along really jealous and tries to push cassies away cos SQUEAK is getting so jealous as she want me to help her find invinicible rock king who is hidden in pula ubin.
ANGELA will be then heard first even before we can see her..
she will yell and scream at everything

can we pls turn time back?
an experience like never before.

the feeling is getting stronger now.
i am like pushing it away from me
i cannot take the fact that everything is so coincidental
why?
tell me if the feeling is right or not.
so i know that i would not have such a hard getting over it.

now i feel why jasper means when there will be a point of time where you cannot stop praying.
for me is, i cant stop praising and worshipping him
is that a good sign of improvement as a christian?
GOD, show me the way
and i will go

2006-06-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

just return for church camp.
THE EARLY TIMES
all about the old testament.
19-22 june:)
my group: JOB
group members: clement, maylin, joanne, kailing, daniel, suzanne, ME:)
clement, 1st time as leader.
but still did a great job.
i LOVE MY GROUP
though we are a bit not enthu at times..:)

the camp was a really worth going camp.
i am so glad that i did go and not follow what my head told me.
MY GOAL HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED FOR THIS CAMP.
TO ENCOUNTER GOD:)

gina, no worries.
you did ALRIGHT as a camp committee:)

love my BAO BAO (chinese bun) gang made during the camp.
huiyu - 'chou' bao [ smelly bao]
ME - 'lan bao' [lousy bao]
yian ping - 'cheng bao' [orange bao]
bonnie - 'you zha bao' [you know those long stuff you eat with soya bean milk? yeah. its you zha/ you tiao. i made this name up.. trust me. you cant find a you zha bao outside:)]

yeah...BAOBAOBAO:)

i will be more active in church after this camp and mixing around with everyone.
hopefully.

and CLOSER TO GOD:)

i felt your presence just behind me that night, father.
your 3 thunders in that clear night sky tells me everything.
i see no rain, but i feel your presence deep within
i finally know what it means by ASK AND YOU SHALL BE GIVEN:)
i asked for an encounter with you for this camp once again to bring close to you again
and i see your faithfulness to me
i must put my faith in you like how JOB did:)
teach me to read your WORD and pray like never before.

after that night stucture experience in the camp, i worshipped the LORD all by myself for an 1 1/2 hour.
on the keyboard and with my voice.
i must praise the LORD, spread the GOSPEL and PRAY like never before.
i am happy that i opened up to not only to my group in the camp, i opened up all i am to GOD

nothing is possible with GOD:)

2006-06-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

i did this really long ago.
but decided to post it up now:)
PEOPLE NEED FRIENDS:)
so love your friends XD

Doreen, you should pick your Supportive Sidekick
You know who we're talking about — the champion consoler, the person you can always count on, the person who knows how to clean up even after the biggest emotional superspill of your life. This friend gives you a one-on-one rush like no other. This confidante for all seasons can probably even read your mind just a little. Or don't you remember the last time they finished a sentence for you?Lucky for you, your supportive sidekick can probably guess what your next dreams will be before you even do. It must be nice to know you have a tireless supporter and coach in your midst, someone you can tell anything to who always has your best interests in mind and a smile to cheer you up. How sweet!

2006-06-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

i hate people who have to poke their finger into matters that dont even involve them a single bit.
dont think once you ask me to do something, means i got to do it for you.

i am not a pushover.
i cannot change along to your mood and decision alright.
and once i see very clearly of my stand again,
DONT TRUST ANYONE. EVEN THOSE WHO YOU KNOW FOR LONGEST TIME.

having this 'i dont know who to trust' feeling, its not my fault.
you gave it to me.
it all started with you.

after i found out, during my childhood days, what i wanted so badly was taken away from me at the age of 2, i know that with or without me in this world, everyone will be just fine.
i am just an extra waste who is adding on weight onto this poor planet.

i took you as a sister and hearing all these truths that you never will get to hear, i have to both take the pain and remember not to mention it to anyone.
cos thats my promise to the person who told me about it.
though i dont trust anyone, doesnt mean i dont want pple to trust me.
at least i know that others have me to trust.

*note: this whole entry is not to the same person.. i am not that mean to type a whole entry on someone.

sometimes my resentment, hatred, anger just gotta get over my head..
i have to tell someone how bad is it to have to bear this secret to myself for 2 whole years..
yes, all to myself.

i would like to thank SQUEAK
not cos we are les partners or anything naughty.
i would like to thank her as being my that friend always beside me, always supporting me.
i am so glad that i got my phone from my parents at the right time.
the time when GOD sent me a real friend that i know will last.

TO SQUEAK:
i am really glad you reply my sms and send me meaningful messages.
everytime i read a sms from you, it lightens up my whole day.
i really look forward to receive that letter from you
i am dying to tell you so many things i been thru
i really like to thank GOD for you, for allowing us to be in the same school and same class this year.
i wanna thank GOD that we can be in the same OBS group and got to know each other better.
i thank GOD that you just stay 2 stops away from me.
i thank GOD that you are in barker methodist cell.
i thank GOD for making you, you.
in your brokeness, complete.
in your brokeness, i place you as my complete bestfriend in my heart.
thank you.
and i seriously wanna tell you, I LOVE YOU:)

TO HUIYU:
i really wanna thank GOD for such a great senior/big sister like you.
you have always that person who is there to question me about my spiritual life.
you always that nice person i know i must treasure.
even though we dont get to see each other as often as we do in the past, but i know we are still able to open up to each other and just go out like we have know each other for forever.
yeah.
and i really appreaciate everything you have done for me, that include remembering to write my little blue book that only belongs to us, and remembering that you have a little sister to take care of in YM.

TO RACHEL:
i thank GOD for you always around to listen to my 'love' stories.
that include cool-sh and all lesbianic talks..
thank GOD for you always going to the flea market with me.
thank GOD for allowing you to have all the patience to listen to me talk rubbish and stand all my nonsense.
thank GOD that you are such a sleeper-lover so you didnt blame me too badly about kicking you in the night during OBS.
thank GOD for you just trying to be yourself

GOD, can you hear my cry in the night?
see my tears in the day?
sense my troubles in my life?
in my corner, i cry, kneel before you and shout
I NEED YOU, FATHER.
can you hear me?

2006-06-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EUGENIA:)
yeah. stay happy and funky always ya...
LOVE YA LOT;)

2006-06-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

woke up early and got to rush out of the hse to go to my aunt's place.
yeah.
second day in a row rushing out of the house after i wake up..
its so bad for my health...i think:)
i AM SO HAPPY THAT I CAN STAY IN MY AUNT"S PLACE:)
since i cant go anywhere, its fun staying here right.
but i still gotta complete my hw here at the same time...
sighx...
HW IS SUCH A KILLER.
reading 42 chinese stories and doing so many maths question...DIE!!
and i only finished 9 stories and 20 maths question...sigh.

I DONT WANT GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
homework is such a chore.
i want to go back to meet my friends and not my teachers and my testbook and hw...ARhhhhh

2006-06-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

jump out of bed at 8.52am cos i was suppose to wake up at 8 to get ready to go emma's place for practice.
lucky i still managed to reach there in time:)
we are sticking to sing lian ai da ren.
i am having great difficulty memorising it..
cos words in the chorus is not consistant after ever verse.
it like have different words.
cos lian ai da ren is a guy-girl singing to each other.
the best part about the song is, i am SINGING THE GUY part all by myself..
i dont mind and actually rather.
but thinking about singing the wrong words and having to 'flirt' with angela and jo on stage PLUS i am stage fright (which everyone is so surprised about).
i do.
i am afraid that it will affect me singing in tune, harmonising, remember the words in my head, and all those little flirty acts i gotta do on stage..

these are some juicy DETAILS why you should stay back after school to watch my performance:) (ego..HA!)
1. DOREEN WILL BE SINGING ON STAGE
2. NO TICKETS NEEDED FOR THIS FREE PERFORMANCE WHICH CANNOT BE MISSED.
3. DOREEN WILL BE FLIRTING WITH GIRLS ON STAGE
4.DOREEN WILL BE DRESSED LIKE A GUY(hot or not? decide it for yourself)

TO MY CLIQUE!!!
pls come and watch.
i need your support.
cos i have stage fright(as mentioned about), so its better to have some familar faces in the crowd/audience so my eyes got someone to place.
REMEMBER TO TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE SITTING:)
genia, do those boards...HA! i am joking.

SINGING COMPETITION 26 june06 monday after school:)

i look at you,
amazed at how fast you put the past behind you and walk ahead.
pls tell me when you feel tied up by everything and have no one to tell everything to.
pls tell me you are just putting all those things away from your view.
for me, it have been 1year 5 months 28days
and i still feel that everything just happened yesterday.
just let me know when you need a listening ear:)

2006-06-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

today, did some chinese homework in the morning.
i just realised that i got to read 42 stories for chinese test when school reopen and i am only on story no.8
which is FAR from 42...
yeah.
did my chinese compo 1/2 way.
will complete it later.

went out with huiyu to orchard today.
SUBWAY ROCKS:)
yeah.
they should change the packaging for their cookies.
they make my whole bag smell like cookies again..this is the 2nd time on the same bag...diao
we walked from far east, to wisma, and to taka.
and the best thing was, we didnt even buy ANYTHING:)
though we went into about 30 shops.
yeah.
haha.
2 brokers going to orchard...
moreover, GSS is not even helping us at all.
everything is STILL SO EX.

back to the gunbound craze recently.
i am SO PISSEd that i cannot remember my pw and have to restart all over again FROM CHICK.
yeah.
gunbound is more cool than maple ok.
cos little pple plays it now:)

going for chinese singing group practice tmr.
only staying for 2 hours.
hope the time will be FRUITFUL:)

putting the past behind me and only look to the future.
this is the best way to live life and continue to walk in the light.
strangers who are so close...

2006-06-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

today, mood a little better:)
cousins coming to stayover
hope i still will be able to do my work :S

no mood to update anything.
today is somehow boring to think of it.
everything is like... DEAD

BOO

2006-06-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

yesterday, went to squeak's place to supposely have our little date but her old neighbour came back and visit her and she was so getting in the way.
she is really cute and lively but i thought getting everything talked out was more important.
got squeak
-a box of honey stars
-a bottle of coffee with korean words on it(she was getting so high on the korean words)
-a eclaire
-a packet of kisses chocolate
-a bottle with a love note in it:)
for her birthday present
yeah.
I WROTE MY 1ST 3 KOREAN WORDS ON HER BOTTLE!!
and i got it all right:)
i just have the korean blood in me:)
sorry, i get too high when anything related to korea is mentioned
like my mum going to korean in a month's time w/o me for a WHOLE week.

after that we went for cell and i insisted on not going for the worship before cell cos i feel really uncomfortable going there.
maybe too many unknown faces.
TO SQUEAK, YOUR COOKIES ROCKS
though i am suppose to eat behind your back, but WHO CARES!?
back to cell, i was FUN listening to emma-ma's crap and squeak talking sense into emma.
i was glad, lucky that my parents didnt call me and ask me to go home during cell when it ended at 1030pm.
squeak's mum send me home:)
oh ya.
SQUEAK:)!!!, YOUR MUM IS SO CUTE:)
maybe every korean is just so cute and lovable
i am more used to the people there now as i am being to talk more
i PROMISE TO BE MORE SOCIALABLE IN CHURCH
though i enjoy being dao and only will be dao in church
maybe cos of all those things that happened to me when i wasnt dao in church.

went for caps ball in church
before the game, i was glad that i finally felt and had the time to come for caps ball
during the game and when the rain came, i hate myself for choosing the wrong day to come
pinpointing no one, i didnt even touch the ball in the WHOLE game.
was running around like an IDOIT
i will just say that i am TOO short to comfort myself.
for the weather,
maybe GOD didnt want me to go for the game?
maybe GOD wanted me to spent more time with my sister?
maybe GOD wanted me to stay at home and do my homework and sleep?
maybe i was meant to be an weekend loser.

HUIYU: sorry for the really lousy attitude in church today; this was what all went thru my mind. i am just annoyed with church

i dont know how i am going to survive 4 days 4 nights of loneliness
persuaded ~~mummy~~, but still forced to go for ~~camp~~
not that excited anymore

THANK GOD FOR SCHOOL FRIENDS:)
THANK GOD FOR RACHEL AND FAITH:)
THANK GOD FOR ORCHARD:)
i had something to look forward to the whole day.
to get to see rachel and faith and get into orchard after a month of staying in my stupid shell.
WE WENT TO FLEA MARKET ONCE AGAIN
our usual hangout between the 3 of us.
i LOVE THIS WEEK's flea market...ROCKS:)
when i spent $$ in a flea market, it means its GOOD:)
i was glad for the rain, cos all prices went DOWN
then, we walked around town, popping into shops that sells really ex clothing which we will just wanna PUKE when you realise its the great singapore sales and the prices are still CRAZYly expensive.

maybe i rely too much on my school friends, ending up, too afraid too graduate.
i used to CANT WAIT TO GRADUATE FROM MG.
now i rather let time pull 10000000000000000000 times longer.
the end line is DONT PUT YOUR TRUST AND HOPES ON ANYTHING INCLUDING YOURSELF
i seriously think that once i hit into JC, i will just drop all my hair and die of stress.
or i will never see myself graduating from there.

at the bottom of that bottom line here, I AM A LOSER, totally

2006-06-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

confused now.
who is who?
now i cant even feel that feeling anymore.
where did it vanish to?
was i just lying to myself the whole time about you?
to distract the pain to go away?

i totally agree with the chinese saying that the furthest distance is not literally far away from each other, its that i am beside you and yet you dont even know that i love you.

its that show that swing my whole mood 180 degree around.
i always watch tv shows and put myself into one of the characters as well.
绿光森林 Green Forest, My Home
even though its a idol drama, but i must say that it puts alot of thinking and feeling in you.
its like, you will feel like crying for the characters after the show.
i guess that was where my mood swing came about...
TMR IS FRIDAY so i shall be happy and not be so moody.
there is such thing as a prince in this world.

2006-06-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

I AM SHAKING NOW
my mum's car just got bang by this under age male driver.
i witness the bang.
thats why i am still shivering away.
lucky no one's hurt.
if not, i will be shaking even more

do i still feel for you like i use to do?
or is everything just an illusion?
too late for turning back now.

haix.

2006-06-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

crap. i am like waking up at 8am every morning now and its like the hols lar.
the latest i woke up is like ... 9am
ARHH!!
and i sleep like at 12? Sh*t.

for church camp, i am going late on the 1st day.
around dinner time.
so if you guys dont see me at 8am at church with my bros, pls dont freak out:)
i got GB meeting which is really important as we will me electing/voting for our future leaders and we have a leadership training after that.
if i dont successfully become any leader, maybe i will go much earlier for camp:)
see first

I REALLY DONT WANNA PAY FOR THE EXTRA CASH FOR INTER CAMP:(
i am like how broke alr and tell me to pay $$ that is not even my fault, i feel so ...arghhhh

today, gotta go down to school at like 12.30pm to get all my books to my mum's car.
i havent even started doing anything in these past 2 weeks of hols cos i left all my BOOKS AND PENCIL BOX in school.
yeah. and my HOMEWORK LIST!!
i have to rush all my work in ONE WEEK:(

i got a shock this morning when i see so many pple tagging my c-box.
and i gotta reply so many.
I AM SO HAPPY THAT SQUEAK TAGGED:)
and pet,vera and rachel.
you guys only tag in a blue moon.
not say i always go and tag you guys, its just that I FEEL HAPPY:)

HAPPY ~~belated~~ BIRTHDAY SQUEAK DEAR!!!
dont tell me that i have good timing.
you are just making me feel guilty.
SQUEAK's birthday is like on 3rd june and i only found like yesterday which is the 7th june.
i am late by 4 days...crap.
and she says i have good timing....DONT TELL ME THAT:(

i have decided what to get for SQUEAK for her/his birthday:)
SQUEAK is a her/his cos she/he is not really sure what gender she/he is:)
you know, lesbians have a hard time telling what gender they are...LIKE ME
i have finish doing her card and i just realised that i still own trina a card...
but it will be really werid giving to her now...
i see if i can do it in time before next friday.
plus genia's card.
I ALREADY GOT SOMETHING FOR GENIA, trina.
shared with lydia.
pls dont get angry, cos we got for her what we got for you but in a different colour:P

in the mids discussing for what we will do for the chinese singing competition
EMMA; ANGELA; ELIEEN; JOANNE; SQUEAK; DOREEN:)
yeah. cant wait for our 1st practice which is i also dont know when.

everyone is excited for THIS FRIDAY:)
fine. maybe its just ME and SQUEAK
but WHO CARES
ME + SQUEAK = everybody
got it?
HA!

i am so stucked to ENGLISH songs now.
its all isador's and isabel's fault.
every morning i wake up, the 1st thing i think is COFFEE and COMPUTER
the 1st web i go is RADIO.BLOG.CLUB
listen to JOJO and KELLY CLARKSON:)
but i am (duh) loyal to my asian songs.
chinese, jap and KOREAN songs still rock:)

ARHHHhhh!!:)

2006-06-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

XIANG SAID THAT I LOOK LIKE BOA!!!
woot.
that means...
I LOOK LIKE A KOREAN:)
yeah.
i am so JEALOUS that squeak is a korean.
dont know if she is proud of it.
but if i am a korean, I WILL BE SO PROUD AND TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IT.
sorry, its not that i dont enjoy being a chinese/singaporean,but...
I LOVE KOREA AND BEING A KOREAN:)
maybe thats why i am with squeak...
no no no. i cant be with someone cos he/she is a korean:)
BUT I STILL LOVE HER KOREAN OR NOT:)

XIANG ROCKS!!!
cos he said look like a KOREAN!!!
THANKS! you brighten up my moody day by tagging that on MY blog:)

2006-06-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

i just heard from RA that we dont have to go for PBB
means i can go FULL TIME for church camp:)

i am such an idoit
~~i love you no more~~
i pity him.
at such a young age, almost abandoned.
just like that girl.

I HATE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!!!
clear enough?
all thanks to you now i am who i am.
GET AWAY..

WOOT

2006-06-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

went to J8 like for almost 5 hrs with my cousins:)
yeah.
got a brown top which is really pretty
and a really nice shades at a really reasonable price:)
love it so much<3
the great singapore sales everywhere is getting crazy

REALLY LOVE MY SHADES AND TOP
ok. getting really high.
i am so broke for the hols ok.
lucky i still get allowance this hols
all thanks to my really buzy schedule
is it spelt like that? HACK!

i just realised that other than the 4 camps mentioned just now
-OBS over
-intercamp over
-class party over
-shopping with cousins over
-stayover at granny/cousins' hse now
- worship practice 8 june
-church camp 19-22 june
-date with huiyu to the beach
-cg every friday at barker methodist
-caps ball at toa payoh at sats
-date with squeak:) 9 june
-all my homework (chinese,maths,chemistry)
-catch up with my work in school
-date with US (genia,faith,rachel,trina,vera)w/o raina cos she is in china now:( 9 june
-stayover at vera's house

i am really getting MAD
sighx.
this means no more shopping for this hols.
i am not intending to spent anymore $$$ cos i am not working...DAMN!

2006-06-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

i am SO BORED NOW:(
yeah.
in my cousin's house
TO ALL GB SEC3 pple: i know who is that freak who went around tagging our blogs with all those ____LOVER notes...
to that person(i shall be nice and not put your name here, be tHANKFUL) : STOP ALL NONSENSE PLS!! you are just plainly CHILDISH. yes. get off our back and stop pranking. its really mean of you:/

yeah. enough of scolding those BO LIAO pple:)
i got a new c-box.
LOVE IT, thou it look a little werid on my blog.

got LOTS of thing to do in this hols
tons of maths hw, studies to catch up on, camps to go...ARH!
sick of camps now...i have like 4 in this june hols..
OBS, intercamp, church camp...
HATE CAMPS.

enough of rubbish here.
BLAHh...hate this hols:(
i am suppose to work..and now, i dont even have the time to find job:(((((

GB INTERCAMP:)

2006-06-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

JUST CAME BACK FROM ESTHERFEZ
won a sliver for multimedia
me and trina did all the editing which is actually quite FUN:)
no doubts about being a creative director now:)
and i love taking videos and photos:)
results for photo/video competition is not out yet:(

i am so sorry, kendra.
i lost my voice, had gb in the morning and just came back from gb camp thats why my mummy dont allow me to go for caps ball.
sorry for the consistant breaking promise about caps ball:/

BACK FROM INTER-CAMP YESTERDAY
it was alright.
lucky i was quite occupied with worship practices, supp classes and multimedia during the camp.
so i didnt have to face the kids much:)
sorry, cos generally i just DONT LIKE KIDS!!!!
yeah. and i MISSING SQUEAK THE WHOLE TIME IN CAMP
and angela was really worried about me and squeak turning lesbian...as in, real lesbians..
but dont have to worry angie, me and squeak will CONTROL:) HA!
i am so happy that i was really open in the GB camp and i really had a nice time bonding with the sec3s
now i know everyone much better.
AMANDA ANG laughs at everything i say and do.. just like hannah.
AM I THAT FUNNY???HA!

CHINESE SINGING COMPETITION 260606
i am doing group item. not solo anymore
angela, i think i am fine doing with lian ai da ren/hey you.
i dont mind being girl or boy:)
but i think we should do another song.
so emma can play it on the guitar for us.
and pls include SQUEAK:)

MY MUMMY ALLOW ME TO GO TO CG AT BARKER:)
not for the guys, pls.
not interested at all.
its an ALL GIRL CG PLS
and its GOOD, pple there are really nice:)

today i had to go bishan MRT by myself and it takes me 1 hr to get there.
so on the bus, i was thinking about what i have been told about someone.
i am really sorry that something similar that happened to me, happened on you too.
i thot i would be the only one meething this kind of thing.
in the same year, we get hurt for the same issue.
i really mean what i said on the sms the other day.
i realised that you are not just another friend of mine, you are more than a friend to me
and i am sure our friendship will be strong.
i am happy that you would like to be truthful to me when i told you that i decided to be truthful to you as well.
i was really glad that you didnt just admit that it happened, but willingly to talk to me about it.
you know why?
i never told anyone how bad mine was last year.
at least you had the courage to talk to someone, i didnt.
i am really HAPPY that you dont mind talking about it.
if i end up crying, sorry.
if you end up sobbing away, i am really sorry to bring all those memories back to you again.
i just wanted you to feel better and get over it once and for all.
and hopefully, the talk will do good to me as well.
i dont wanna see anyone around me getting hurt.. dont bother about how bad the talk will have side effects on me. i dont care.
thank you for being so open:)
love you always.

class party was very unexpected.
pple who went for the party, PLS STOP SPREADING AROUND WHATEVER HAPPENED PLS!!
those who didnt go but know what happened, PLS DONT SPREAD!
i just gotta protect my friend from getting hurt even more.
that night after the party, rahcel sent faith home.
somehow, i just feel that strong friendship between me and faith.
i cant just leave her behind, i stayed on with her until 11++ pm.
we were in the playground, she was talking to her friends on the phone while i star-gaze and think of how i would react in faith's shoes.
its a really important point of time to have a good friend of yours to be by your side
i am still really glad i stayed on:)
FAITH, our friendship was set on the test. i am really sure that YOU are one friend i treasure alot and WILL MISS YOU when i leave mg and go on to poly, where no one goes.

thinking about how time flies, like its already june n0w and 1 1/2 yrs more to O levels:(
i dont really bother about what my results will be.
i only know that i will miss all my friends here in mg.
this is the year that i made a lot of good friends, i will be leaving for poly and all of them will just go ACJC.
maybe i should just shut the doors and be dao to all new friends.
the more friends i make in mg, the more i will get hurt when i leave.
it sounds as if i am going to die or leaving for good to somewhere else.
but, putting/ forcing myself into poly away from all my good friends is as good as killing me.
pls tell me that all my good pals out there will stay in touch with me when we graduate from MG.

we are on the same boat that stays insecure from then onwards.

I AM SO BORED pls

2006-05-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE?
i think i am being to miss obs...
actually not obs, more of my friends in obs.
i am really rotting at home and the best thing is NO ONE IS ONLINE...
crap.
bet everyone is out shopping at the great singapore's sale when i stay at home, listen to my music, sing and dance to myself, bobbing to the waves in the pula ubin sea and missing all my lesbianic partners.
and to think of it, lydia low [squeak] stays only 2 busstops away from me...
hmm. should i visit her and go to HER room...HAHAH!
crap.
i am really bored thats why i am like stuck on the computer with NOTHING TO SEARCH OR DO for the past 4 1/2 hrs.
WHY AM I STILL BOBBING?!?!?
crap.
its like more than 24 hrs since i leave obs and i am still BOBBING!
cassie, come bob with me:(
i rather stay in obs and complain to my lesbianic partners than stay at home and miss them...:(:(:(
i miss all of you.

OBS IS SUCH A TORTURE

2006-05-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

to think that all these torture will end the minute i leave that island.
but now,
my lower back is aching
my lips are pealing
my head is still bobbing since last night
i am still very tired even though i slept from 11pm last night to 12 noon
sighx.
and i am ALL ALONE at home and have no where to go cos my wallet is only left with $2.15
i did all the obs shopping with my own money pls.
will the bobbing stop?

i really hope my worship band, angie leti kelly and me, will be fit enough to go for camp next wednesday
cos we dont even have time to practice and we are only practicing the hour before the camp.
how bad can everything get?
and obs is really sucky.
to think that i wanted to let angie have a chance to play the keyboard and i will lead the worship with kelly and leti on the guitars, i think that is just big dreaming.
worst come to worst, angie sings and i play keyboard when i bob away..

I AM A B4 ASIAN:)

2006-05-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

ripped from FAITH:)
16 x 4 = 64% Asian.

[x] You take your shoes off before entering the house
[x] You eat rice often.
[x] You use chopsticks.
[x] You can speak an asian language.
[x] Your parents want good grades from you.
[x] Your parents insist you don't date until college.
[ ] Your parents want you to go to Berkeley or some other good university like that. Stanford or Harvard, even better.
[ ] Your parents believe in Feng Shui.
[ ] You listen to those horoscopes/zodiac signs.
[ ] Your parents love to gossip with the other parents about you.
[ ] You have relatives other than your immediate family living with you.
[x]Most or all of your friends are asian.
[x] You don't even know 10 people who aren't asian.
[x] Your ancestors came from Asia.
[x] You are obsessed with the computer and can't get enough.
[ ] You know how to put a computer together.
[x] You listen to asian music.
[x] You can actually understand the lyrics.
[ ] You have to keep things from your parents, even if they're not bad,because you know they'd think it's bad.
[ ] Your relatives love to bring you clothes that are bright in color with cute cartoons on them. If you're lucky, it might even have english words on them that don't make sense.
[x] You love your ethnic food.
[x] You have taken/still take piano and/or violin.
[x] Classical music is the best music ever, next to asian music.
[x] You are good at math

Multiply by 4
The product means you are _______% Asian

OBS CAMP:)

2006-05-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

obs is actually not as fun as what everyone have said.
maybe they all were jus trying to be sarcastic...yeah
the only part i enjoyed in the camp was with my friends and the high elements part.
day 1 was really boring and i really wanted to get my butt out of PulaUbin.
day 2, had to kayak like 4 hrs and camp outside
got biten by lots of sandflies and was kind of sick in the night
day3, kayak back to our main campsite and had a cooking competition
was seasick so started to bob the whole night
day4, high elements and had my best dinner in obs ever.
got to taste meat at LAST!!
day5, HOME SWEET HOME!!!

i love my group, COOK!!
to eat, to live, to leave
and our instructor, AH BOON/WEE WEE is as SUPPORTIVE AS A BRA
we gave him a size 32 mg shirt with drawings by stacey.
at least WE SHARE OUR FOOD WITH THE REST OF THE GROUP MATES;)

LEFT-HANDER GANG
1.cassandra
2.mildred
3.kaiting
4.ME!
we totally rock pls..:)

i am really scaring lydiaTAN and davina out of their wits.
cos we got a 'LESBIAN GANG' in our group too.
i am like the da jie da [gang sister] there...HA!!
'LESBIAN' GANG
1.cassandra
2.mildred
3.LYDIA LOW!
4.angela [she is really rough]
5.rachel [low-key les;) HA!]
6.patty [aka Latty Lmily Lobin]
7. ME!! [aka Loreen]
yeah. and i am here to proclaim all the little 'relationships' i had and changed in the camp.
the 1st and 2nd day, i was with rachel.. yeah
and we will always be FOUND TOGETHER talking rubbish and doing nonsense..
3rd and 4th day, i found my new love, cassandra seow..HA!
and she is my ZHOU JIE!!
oh and we have a slogan...
'ZHOU JIE, ZHOU MEI, ZHOU JIE LUN'
YEAH.. we are sisters now.. but its diffcult to forget my past love...HA!
4th day night, i was just walking and talking to lydiaLOW and we were a 'couple'
it all started from me making for her a piece of luncheon meat bread for dinner and her stupid jokes.
and the INVINCIBLE ROCK search....HA!

SO LYDIA LOW IS MINE NOW:)
angela went to tell mrlim about me and lydia's secret relationship and i bet we are going to get expelled from school...HA!
he kept on staring at us in the bus
cos actually i was sitting all the way in the front and lydiaLOW all the way at the back
and somehow,we ended up sitting together and he started staring...SCARY
now i feel like doing job attachment cos my boyfriend/girlfriend is doing it.
i wanna do the same job as her...HA!
i never knew that lydiaLOW will actually be part of our LESBIAN gang..

now i am starting to miss everyone.
its like...all my lesbian partners are all so far away...HA!
but i am feeling kind of bored at home..
and i am still bobbing away now...
still seasick.
i dont even know why?!?

i cant wait for monday!
cos i am going back to school and see all my les partners..;)
but i hope they dont find out that i am dating so many at a time..
i havent ditch anyone yet... wait. maybe angela.
OH YA!!
lydiaLOW is jealous that angie is sitting beside me in class..HA!
and i was being super random today with lydia [cos there is a look alike her in the camp]
i told her what if i hold the wrong person's hand, and she was saying that she will be so heartborken..
and that was coming out of LYDIA'S MOUTH!!
emma is going to freak out.

all thanks to lydiaLOW who made me laugh so much with her yesterday that i lost my voice.
yeah, believe it or not.
i actually laughed so much until i lost my voice.
crap..HA!

suppose to have GB worship practice tmr.
but out of 4 pple in the band, one is having fever and the other sprain her leg in OBS.
and i am sick and still bobbing.
we are going to so die for the worship for camp.

other than all those lesbianic love i spread around in my group in that 5 days
i made alot of new friends.
i never knew lydiaLOW, cassandra, kaiting, davina, hannah, mil, stacey & patty well.
but i guess, OBS did help me in some ways
like getting to know pple in my class better.
remember, OBS IS A LIFE TIME EXPERIENCE AND NOT A TORTURE CAMP...HA!

I LOVE ALL MY LES PARTNERS
so mil, dont get jealous ok?HA!

OBS CAMP!!

2006-05-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

freaking out for OBS.
but i love my group to bits.
-RACHEL
-LYDIA TAN
-ANGELA
-CASSANDRA!!
-stacey
-steph
-lizhen
-juliana
-oyun [if she is going]
-mildred
-lydia low
-davina
-kaiting
-patricia
-annabeth
YEAH!!!

but that doesnt mean i am looking forward to OBS
its not that i am scared of the dirt and stuff.
its just that i have phobia of too many things
water, dirty toliets
HATE MOZZIES AND SAND FLIES!!!
and i really imagine too much...

hearing that you have to DIG YOUR OWN HOLE TO SHIT and pee in the grass patches.
i thot it would be ok cos i am the type that can dont shit for a week BUT,
they are making all of us eat prunes to make us shit.
DAMN! hate to shit....but i know rachel would shit with me.
i'm afraid that it would be too cold and somehow i feel that i would forget to bring something to the camp.
so i am packing it TODAY!!
KS right? but i am just too nervous and afraid of OBS
I DONT WANT TO GET ANYMORE TANNER!!!
if i could, i would put whitening on myself...but i would look so..werid..YEAH

i cried last night.
told my mum that i really dont wanna go for OBS.
and then she said, ' when you really cannot take it, tell the trainer that i wanna go home'
love my mum to bits.

in my tent,
RACHEL LYIDA ANGIE ME
i hope no one EXTRA will be in our tent
as in that EXTRA person in my group...yeah

hope faith will enjoy herself in her group.

sabbactical.
i am most probably going a part of malaysia but not sure where yet.
i cant fly far away from here thou..
i will miss UK and TAIWAN.
penang or malaka.
if penang, i would be going with zhijing.
if malaka, all alone.
i am a loner. so i guess i got to learn to be more social-able..
I MISS RUTH!!! thats so random

and guess what?
i actually cried in school for chinese test today.
just that i guess no one realised..
i am really good at hiding my tears...HAHAHAH!!

i gtg go now and pack my stuff..
kiss my tolietbowl and comfy bed goodbye for 5 days...

2006-05-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

ENGLISH now.
suppose to get lyrics that represented me from last year till now.
yeah.
maybe i should be really nice and post it here
Let’s pretend, that I’ve moved on
And I tell myself, That life goes on, without you.
Open my eyes, Look deep inside.
I run away
just the chorus.
rachel didint know that this song exsited thou..
HA!

today, or even laster, social studies test.
THE LAST TEST IN THIS TERM!!!
and i am going to break free from test for a WHOLE month.
but i need to come back to school for supp. lessons in the hols.
going to work..
anyone anywhere?
i dont care about how much per hour.
just want to WORK!
yeah.
i guess i better get going now....TA!

2006-05-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRINA!!!!
yeahyeahyeah...HA!
went J8 which was FILLED with mg girls...ha.
i am so happy with myself..
i chat with tiffany(from 6.6) for i think close to an hour...
woah...i didnt know how we could just talk and talk and talk so much lik e that..
I REALLY WANT A 6.6 GATHERING!!

i just realised i am a TOTAL WERIDO!!
i remember how telling genia that she is SUCH A PIG to go home at 2 and go and sleep.
then,
i came home, had ANOHER ROUND of lunch, got my ribina and went into the room.
my neighbour was RENOVATING his house and its like all the drilling sound can kill.
BUT, i just lie down on the bed and was thinking that i will just lie there for 5 minutes cos anyway how long can i sleep.
then, my nightmare came...i WOKE UP AT 5.30pm!!
i slept at like 2.30pm...3 HOURS!!
ok..i am THE pig.
all those drilling failed to wake me up...SLEEPING PRO!
i think if i were to die one day due to overdose of something, it would be either GUMMIES, ICE CREAM, RIBINA, WATERMELON or TOO MUCH SLEEP!!
ha.
crap...while i am typing this entry, my eyelids are already closing...*YAWN*
PIG!!!

i was thinking maybe i would wanna be a _____anymore when i grow up.
doesnt mean that i enjoy singing and dancing means i gotta do what i like as an ambition.
acting is cool too.
i will think about it.

i being to realise that i have more and more confidence singing in front of my friends.
maybe cos anyway angela is always singing..so got influenced...
yes, i am VERY LACK of self confidence.
am i the only one that can sing those act cute songs??? tell me i am not the only one.
angela said i very act cute...as in, when i sing those act cute singer songs...
i can tell that some songs they really sing until too over act cute liao...
cannot take it but to imitate.

rachel gave me HONEY AND LEMON strepsils.
dont know the link? TOO BAD!!
me and rachel knows at least.

made a new email add...
HAD SUCH A HEADACHE THINKING OF IT AND A PASSWORD.
ruth suggested iamdodo@hotmail.com
which is like...diao.
but i made thatgirl_fading@hotmail.com
dont worry trina, i CHANGED my password.
not the one you know that can hack into all my accounts...HA!
you cant get into this one.
cos i made the password STRONG.
you know like how you can check if your password is a good one..;)

rachel and genia got me a birthday card each... LOVE YA LOTS!!

birthday cards from:
1.rachel
2.genia
3.YM
4.trina
5.vera
6.lydia
7.raina
8.sharon

bithday presents[update:18May06]
1.billabong visor - trina, rachel, faith, genia, raina,VERA
2.pink doggy box - lydia
3. DODOCLUB lip gloss - rachel, faith
4.HONEY&LEMON strepsils - rachel
5. lollypop - trina
6. a box of handmade cookies which were REALLY YUMMY - vera
7.earrings which were really pretty - sharon
8. green watch -isabel,isador
9. blue photo frame - raina

i am so glad that you wrote that note.
thank you alot.
getting happier everytime i see it.
where did you go that day?

2006-05-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

screw it lar.
my damn blog have to fail me on my birthday.
the whole damn thing just went missing and i have to do the whole layout on my blog AGAIN!!
i just did it lar...THANKS ALOT BLOG>>!!!wadever.

gb was so tiring pls...sighx.

happy birthday to me!

2006-05-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!
yeah.
waking woke up at 7.15am and find no one on line...HA!
i must be mad.
i was suppose to wake up at 8am to go to school.
end up, i woke up way too early.
wished myself a happy birthday early in the morning;)
received lydia's present yesterday.
SHE DARED TO GIVE ME SOMETHING PINK AND DOGGY...
ha...hate dogs and too pink stuff.

last night i dreamt of _____,
dreamt of him giving me a birthday present which was a pooh bear diary from taka...
i dreamed of the shopping bag as well...werid.
we were like in the same house...ok WERIDER.
he said he _______ as well and ruffled my hair..
and wished me happy birthday.

its such a blessing to have such a sweet dream the night before your birthday...HA!
3 birthday wished for this year
1.good results in the end-of-years this year, and make it make to MG
2. know _____ better and ______ too
3. a 100 more wishes. HA!

actually i dont always do this wishing thingy...
christians are not suppose to believe it.

celebrated my birthday yesterday,
black froest cake with 8 chocolate dipped cheery on top.
2 sparkling grape juice. I MANAGED TO POP ONE! other one by da kor cos he insisted in popping it.
honey bake chicken, potato salad, fruit salad by mummy.
LOVE IT!!!

enough of myself.
gtg for GB.
CANT WAIT FOR EVERYTHING THATS GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY!"!!

BDAE PARTY!!

2006-05-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

I LOVE MY CLIQUE TO BITS AND PIECES!!!
-FAITH!
-RACHEL!
-RAINA!
-VERA!
-GENIA!
-LYDIA!

thanks for the SUPRISE party for me and trina!;);):)
there was really alot of FOOD!!
-grapes
-strawberry
-WATERMELON
-bens and jerry ice cream
-cute waffles
-bananna
ALL DIPPED IN FONDUE!!!
YUM!!;)

drooling over your computer?
too bad!
HA!
thats only for US!
hope we will all go US or even UK one day in the future together.
rachel, i am sure we will be friends still then.

our clique should be called CHOCOLATE-LIPPED
sounds unique and ALRIGHT to me.
HA!!
everyone agree to that?
yep. we did put chocolate all over our lips as lipstick.
isnt it nice?

dont me and faith look like couples?HA!!
zoom in...

HAHAHA!!

me and genia on the way to faith's hse.

watermelon rocks with CHOCOLATE!!!really.

just a sneak. genia says i look really girly in this..really? ok lar.

my this weekend is so packed with dates;)
friday - meet lydia for lunch and SHOP for mother's day's gift
- home for dinner for bdae celebration
sat- gb in the morning
- out with clique in the afternoon
- evening, concert
YEAH!
dont be mistaken, my birthday is not this friday or is it on 12 May.
its just that i am so buzy on sat and have the concert to go for in the evening.
hence, celebrating a day earlier.

personal notes to clique.
FAITH!!!
you are one of my LOOOOooooongest friend ever in sch!!! yeah! i am really touched by the powerpoint you did for me. bet it took up alot of your time. but still. i can feel the love in making the ppt. you are really so SWEET!! you have been always so nice to me since p2/3..yeah..and you dont really mind me coming over to your house so often in p6 and really appreciate every single thing that you do for me. i really will treasure our long friendship that is proven through all these years and all those little stupid fights we had. LOVE YA LOTS!!

RACHEL!!
you are one of the sweetest girl in our clique. doing small little things for me that i really appreciate it. like those little dirty jokes that really keeps my mood high. know you is my honour and getting to know you better is my privilege. yeah. i am serious. ;) and i like the way that you are straight forward and supporting me all the way. you are also cute in your own way like the tooms show. you didnt even dare peep..HA! but a god seeking girl like you have a long way to go for GOD!! promise to sing you a full ruien song when the time is right;)LOVE YA LOTS!!

RAINA!!
its so sad how i only can get to spent time with you only 2/3 times a week during recess. and every recess is like only 45 mins long. and after that, we are back to our own class, busy with work and study. really cant wait for the JUNE HOLS to come so we can go out together and LET OUR HAIR DOWN!!! our new prefect in the clique...i am going to be SO SCARED OF YOU since you are the prefect now...HAHAHA!!! like real.. but that tie will look so werid on you. :) but i know you can do up to the standard of a good prefect. but you cant break the rules anymore..HA! thank you for doing all those small little things for me like even getting me that bottle of perfume from china when you were there in the hols...that means you have kept me in your mind through the trip...SO SWEET!!!! LOVE YA LOTS!!

VERA!!
MOO COW FAMILY!!! yeah!!!the girl who is always so stressed up in school and when she gets high, you can pull her down! you are so CUTE! ha. the way you do stupid things with me and you dont even think its funny. and how you laugh at my jokes when no one laughs at them, when they are no exactly very funny...yeah, but thats encouragement for more jokes right? HA! cant wait for another stay over at your house. thanks for always being there and just stone with me or even do all those rubbish me and STAND all my nonsense. i love you for who you are!!! LOVE YA LOTS!!

GENIA!!
my FAT pig. aint you happy to be my pet pig??? HA! always taking pictures of everyone doing nonsense...and always abandoning us for your other friends during recess ... so mean. but you are always so hyper and try to make everyone talk when we are all eating.... remember, people dont chew and talk at the same time...HAHAHAH!!! cant believe there is such a person so close to me that has the same taste as me and i never knew!!! that means you have very good taste ;) thanks for everything that you did for me. like allowing me to buy those bags that you liked too;) LOVE YA LOTS

LYDIA!!!
WOAH!!! you are that really quiet girl in front of everyone but you get really crazy when you are out with me. yeah. i really admit that all the siao-ness you are having now its all from me:) isnt it better to laugh more? you are always there for me when i am happy, sad, angry, stressed, etc. remember all those times we get so high on people that we will never make friends with??? thinking about it now, i still can laugh over it. its plain CHILDISHness....HAHAHA!!! you have good taste in guys ok... I AGREE!! just that mine's better ...HAHAHA!!! thanks for everything. LOVE YA LOTS!!

TRINA!!
i will always remember you as the girl who dont wanna lent me your gameboy to play in pri4. i BEAR gruges ok...HA! i will also remember how you me and alicia will cheat every ting xie and lao shi never caught us...HAHAHAH!!!yeah. those were the days that we dont even know what stress and pressure is..HA! but now,we have lesser and lesser time to do all those WOAH things. thanks for everything you did for me;) yeah. really appreicate it.. LOVE YA LOTS!!!

complete all notes for clique..
i love today.
i am still very full from all the FOOD!!
muacks to everyone in clique.

FLEA MARKET!!!

2006-05-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

FLEA MARKET ROCKS FOR NUTS PLS!!!
haha.
yeah.
spent my afternoon with dee, faith, rachel and genia at the FLEA market at great world.
we had to walk pass 3 busstops before reaching there.
AT LAST I SPENT FRUITFUL TIME IN A FLEA MARKET.
i went for the LIME's flea market like dont know how many times and i dont buy anything.
and now, i feel so good cos my money was so WORTH IT!!
maybe cos i saved like siao these pass months..
cos my goal was
TO SAVE $50 BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY AND BUY ALL MY STUFF I NEED FOR OBS WITH MY OWN MONEY!!!
yeah.
and i came to realise today that genia has the same taste as me.
as in clothing, bags and slippers..:)
haha.
at last that makes me easier to get her something for her birthday and vice versa.
HAHA!
and she didnt mange to get all the bags she wanted at the flea market
cos i said i liked the bag earlier than she did and I GET ALL THE BAGS.
she got one big yellow bag that was NICE as well.
rahcel went 'crazy' in the flea market.
she just walked past every shop and started bargaining...HA!
but she is really good at it.
i feel so bad when i bargain...:(

school is so ARHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
HATE GRAPHS FOR NUTS!!!
and we are doing that now for both E A maths...irrtating
i can feel that now i am giving those atttitude to the teachers.
but too bad.
if i get irritated, you get it.
so pls dont irritated me.
ask my sister about it...
she totally experienced all my scoldings..
HA!
so its not exactly very lucky to be my sibling..yeah.

hopes for going taiwan end of the year.
just keep the money rolling in, GOD.
we really need it.
hope everything will be more stable.
yep.
i dont know why but recently i have been thinking about graduation next year.
look.
in a years time, i will taking O levels and i will be leaving the school and most luckly, i will be going poly.
a whole brand new place, with completely no friends...unless i am so lucky to have a good friend going to poly which is so UNLIKELY.
i will begin to lose contact with all my good friends in secondary school.
most probably in contact for like the 1st 3 months...and then, i am totally forgotten.
no friends at all then.
moreover, i am not EVEN CLOSE TO ANYONE in church...so no point talking about church friends.
and i am not the type that is very open to people.
even though i am the very high and jokey type, i still keep a distance to people i dont trust or not familiar with.
if anyone offended, sorry. i am just like that.
moreover, you get to see all the really fake people/friends in poly.
so you cant even talk to/trust anyone cos anyone can stabback at you anytime.

FEEL LIKE GOING JC AFTER ALL WHERE ALL MY FRIENDS ARE.
but the thing is, you cannot stick to them for your whole life.
so is either i face it now or later when i work.

GOD, show me the way to my life.
the path i should take.
the marks i should get for my O levels
the school i should go
the course i should take
the friends i should make with in the future
the advises i should listen to
my life is in your hands.
take control of my life, i pray.
thank you father. AMEN

2006-05-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

ripped from FAITH!
Taken a picture naked? no..
Made out with a member of the same sex? no..
Danced in front of your mirror? YEP!
Told a lie? Duh...whoever says no is lying
Gotten in a car with people you just met? YEP!
Been in a fist fight? YEP!
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? YEP!
Been arrested? no..
Left your house without telling your parents? YEP!
Ditched school to do something more fun? DUh. i am not a NERD.
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? YEP!
Seen someone die? no..
Kissed a picture? YEP!
Slept in until 3? no.. even if i did, i wouldnt remember.
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YEP!
Played dress up? YES!!!
Fallen asleep at work/school? DUH!
Felt an earthquake? YEP!
Touched a snake? no.. they are...eekk!!
Ran a red light? YEP!
Had detention? no. i am a good girl ok... no lar. its just that i never get caught!! HA!
Been in a car accident? no..
Pole danced? not exactly. only playing around kind.
Been lost? YES!!
Sang karaoke? i would love to. but no.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? YEP!!
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? no..
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? no..love to try it out
Kissed in the rain? no...like kiss who???
Sang in the shower? DUH!! everyday!
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? no...i dont have very long tongue.
Ever gone to school partially naked? no...siao!
Sat on a roof top? YEP!
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no. cos i cant swim.
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? no..
Broken a bone? no. i am perfectly ALRIGHT
Mooned/flashed someone? no..
Forgotten someone's name? sadly..YES
Slept naked? no..
Blacked out from drinking? no..
Played a prank on someone? YEP!!
Felt like killing someone? YES...........
Made a parent cry? yes. but long along thing
Cried over someone? YEP!
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? no...SIAO
Had/Have a dog? NO. probably never.
Been in a band? YES!!
Drank 25 sodas in a day? no..
Shot a gun? no..

i just felt like doing something like this..yeah.
cant wait!!
we have no school on WEDNESDAY and FRIDAY next week!!!
YEAH!
and someone's birthday is next saturday...
and i dont exactly remember who's bdae it is...
is it MINE?????
haha.
i guess so.
but, just get a present for that BIRTHDAY GIRL OK!!!
if got no idea what to get for her, ASK ME!!
i wouldnt put a birthday list here like faith....
just check out the WISHLIST on this blog...YEAH

i dreamt of RUTH!
i dont know why either.
its really werid. HA!
i dreamt that she came back and we went out together and do all those crazy stuff..
like we did the other time.
hope she will come back early JUNE and stay here all june...
so i can go out with her. YEP!!

i thought it through..
for SABBACTICAL, i am doing JOB ATTACHMENT.
there is nothing bad about that anyway.
and moreover, you can choose what you want to do.
yeah.
means realizing your dreams much early when all your other friends are going another country.
i know i will be really lonely for that 2 weeks in singapore while ALL my other friends fly to anther country.
but i know i will be enjoying what i will be doing..
even though i am DYING to go to both UK and TAIWAN, i think you will have a BETTER experience in job attachment...thats what i think.
yep. you all know what i am going to do for job attachment.
but hope i will get what i want...
i got my 3 chioces for that already...YEP!!
ask me if you really DONT know..
yep...

CANT BELIEVE HOW A YEAR FLIES OFF SO FAST!!
somehow, i still can remember EVERY SINGLE DETAILED how i spent my last birthday with my clique.
i can still feel that really big SHOCK in me...
it was a really big SURPRISE.
and i doubt i would have any other group of nice loving fun bunch of friends to do that all over for me again.
LOVE CLIQUE LOTS!!!

ONE YEAR OLDER
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO GRADUATION
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO MY DREAMS AND AMBITIONS
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO EARN BIG MONEY
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO BE AN ADULT
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO WORK
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO o levels...whatever doreen soon
ONE YEAR CLOSER TO EVERYTHING I YEARN FOR AND WANT!!

BORING

2006-04-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

went to church early in the morning
feel so sian the whole day
was actually intending to go for youth service
but during sunday school, i decided not to go.
so i sat in for choir
just sat there and stoned for an hour..
my dad sent me, my sis and maid home.

so boring.
dont have the motivation to study lit.
i will study after dinner :)

my whole weekend have been like that.
i guess i am just having mood swings.
but impossible to have the same sian mood for 3 days right.
letitia thought i was pissed.
sorry lar, i just have the very pissed and dao look.
thats just me.
my normal expression is dao pissed look.
yeah.

dont know what to do online either.
getting bored of icy tower and happyland adventures.
finished all the stages of happyland and cannot get above 150 level for icy tower.
so decided to stop..
everything is so boring..
or is it just me?

i am like so sick of sitting there by myself every week in service
so i decided not to go this week.
i dont know where i would go next week.
maybe i will just go for new life service or back to the children's choir.
i am so confused now.
nothing is working in my head.

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

THE WEEK END AT LAST!!

2006-04-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

AT LAST.
nice wonderful rest and slack time at home.
slept at 11pm last night, woke up at 8am
i dont know why so early.
must be all my kors' noise.
sighz...they have to always disturb me sleeping.
my sister is still in bed ok...SO UNFAIR!
if it wasnt for them, i will still be pigging away now.
nevermind.
at least i have 9 hrs of sleep:)

not going for caps ball this morning.
going out with rachel to ruien's fanclub gathering at 1, leaving the hse at 12.
rachel is the fan/ member of the fanclub, not me.
i am not a ruien fan, but i think she is alright.
yeah.

a 'no homework' weekend once again.
cos laoshi didnt come to sch yesterday, mrs sim went through the chemistry paper
yeah.
oh ya.
i failed the chemistry test, like 43 %
damn it lar.
i am failing too often nowadays.
sighx.
hope from next week onwards, everything will turn out better.

recently, i have this urge to listen to english pop music.
ok, its really werid.
maybe i am just sick of all my ablums.
but lucky, i do have some english ablums to listen too:)
you guys maybe laughing your head off now.
to think how i use to think that eng music sucks.
but excuse me, i only listen to some singers and not all.
no rock band pls, only proper singers.
you know what i am talking about.

all aches have faded away.
i feel so shuang now..
HA!
no ulcers too!!
THAKS EMMA- ma the PANGster

next week,
literature test [wed] - Macbeth act 1 and 2
a maths [thurs] - functions, ... ...
yeah.

have been crazily played HAPPYLAND ADVENTURES and ICY TOWERS like siao.
so fun ok..:)

what will i be doing 5 years from now?
who will i be with?
will i still be in your memory?

blogskin picture

2006-04-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

yep.
the picture i made for this blogskin.
forgot to mention about that in the previous entry i posted today.
spent about 2 hrs doing that.
and neaten up everything here.
at last i know and figured out how to d othe settings and the numbering for the blogskin.
LOVE IT.

at last i had enough rest.
hope all the ache will go away.
and i can return back to school tomorrow.

complicated.
when will you hear me out?

God has his plan for everything that has happened.

ACHING!!

2006-04-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

yes.
i am aching like no one's business.
i cant even walk properly..
have to limp a bit.
its as if i have some disformed leg...
my left leg's whole muscle is like super PAIN!
my shoulder are crazy too.
all my muscle are aching..
even my abdominal muscle too..
this is so bad.

did not go to school today.
cos i am ALLOWED to stay at home and rest...

i did chemistry tys at home.
i dont know why chemistry thou...
it was WERID>

someone pls call me and tell me about school.
THANKS